Define me.

Airplanes.

2010-05-12T12:21:00.004+08:00

I could really use a wish right now.

Salutations.

I feel all I need is a break. Just one day that the school gives us, to take time off school and to just relax. But, like that's ever gonna happen. Haiz. I didn't expect Year 2 to be so stressful. I am incomprehensibly exhausted. The work, and the assignments, and the IGs, and the CE Talks, and the UTs; and on top of that quizzes and RJs and CE Talk RJs plus giving tuition. Yikes!

I'm 18 already, and yet I feel like a total nerd. Not liberating my legal self yet. And Mirul, he's so cute with his Year 1 talk. He, Hafsah (Ni'mah's sister) and Wan, all asking me bout Year 1 and what is was like. I'm glad I have knowledge and wisdom to impart. Haha. Mirul loves doing RJs, and he's already started with his writing of notes for the UTs.

Well, right now, I'm supposed to be studying for the UT. But I just needed to blog first. Since, now, my faci, HI ANDREW!, has my blog address. :) I need some cheering up, and something to take my mind off school for once. Hmmm... maybe I'll just stare at the giant Man United poster in my room (hehehe) or the giant Cristiano Ronaldo poster too (^^). Let me give you a brief idea of what they look like.

Nice, right?!!! I KNOW! I get to stare at them all day. HAHAHAHA. Okay, now that cheered me up. Time to go study. Auf Wiedersehen.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

=DeBbIe=

Denial.

2010-05-03T22:02:00.003+08:00

I'm living in denial of the world around me.

Where do I go when there is absolutely no where to go? No one to turn to. You would think one's mind would be a sanctuary during a time like this. But, no. It's the cause of my denial, of my confusion, of my doubt. To feel yourself slipping off the edge, and having no rope to pull you back. To start thinking that everything I have vowed for is a lie.

I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I never thought this way. But, I'm too far gone. I yearn so much for someone to save me. And to see that no one can. Not even God. It's a scary feeling, being all alone to fight this. Waging war with myself. I can only crawl back within my empty soul, and hide there.

But how do I tell people? I don't wanna disappoint my family. My friends since young. My dad. I couldn't bear for people to blame him for all this. I wish I could make this all better, as if it never happened, but I can't. Only I can fight this now. Alone.

Somebody save me.

Debbie.

VICTORY!

2010-04-24T22:21:00.004+08:00

AND THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY SOCCER!!!!

WAY TO GO DEVILS! WE KICKED SOME SPURRIAN ASS TONIGHT, BABY!

Manchester United. Let me take this moment to tell you how proud I am of you. Every match, every season, every trophy, every victory, every loss, you have been through it all. And yet, we are still a world-class team. We proved we are not a one-man team like many think. But that we are UNITED! No words can describe this ecstatic feeling inside me. Just know that, win or lose, I will forever wear your emblem over my heart with pride. Once a Red Devil, always a Red Devil!

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED! AS THE REDS GO MARCHING ON!

Always and Forever a part of the team
=DeBbIe=

Cursed.

2010-04-22T22:41:00.003+08:00

Man is cursed.

Salutations.

Today has turned out to be a horrid day. Seriously. It always turns out this way when I go to school alone and go home alone. I swear. When I am with other people, this cursed fate chooses not to befall me. I do not wish to recall the days events, but let me assure they are bad. That is spelt S-H-I-T.

On top of that, having to deal with school and giving tuition. Haiz. Sometimes I wish they would understand the life of a teenager, and give us like a break for 2 days. Just to catch up on sleep and just enjoy life. I seriously think many of us need it. Being sick on top of it all does not help my situation.

UGGHHH. At least I finally got to catch up with my dear Adam. He looks so cute with his little Replug sign. And I finally got to see Ghaz, muscles and all. He looks even bigger now. I am so happy to finally have EVSS people here with me. I finally feel at home. Haha. And now, after finally finishing my RJ, i am listening to my song of the moment. I am soooo addicted to this song.

It's Memories, by Kid Cudi and David Guetta. OMG! I freaking love it. Like damn! Now I'm blogging and watching Idol Gives Back. It's so sad to see children around the world who have nothing, but yet have so much faith in God. And now I know, despite all the horrid things that have happened to me today, it is NOTHING compared to the daily struggles these people go through. And that God has truly blessed me.

Amen.

All the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories.

=DeBbIe=

Ego.

2010-04-22T00:08:00.002+08:00

Get off your high horse.

Just cause I can't go on,
just cause I die when you're gone.
Just cause I think of you in bed, don't let it go to your head.
If I looked in your eyes, one too, too many times,
& memorized every word you said, don't let it go to your head.

Enough said.

=DeBbIe=

Escape from civilisation.

2010-02-24T14:53:00.002+08:00

Ah, the chaos of cilivisation.

Salutations. I have just returned from an awesome escape away from civilisation. It was a much needed and deserved trip for myself. This was a last minute, spur-of-the-moment thing, and I decided to embrace it. Ben anna invited me along, so I gladly accepted. I mean, it's not like I had school or anything. The original plan was just to celebrate Melanie's 21st birthday at the Sailing Club, but we all stayed over. I'm glad I did.

So after the party, Ben anna, Joanna akka, Nicholas, Gopi, Melanie, Aunty Mary and myself stayed over. It was so much fun. The front of the chalet was facing the sea, absolutely beautiful. And the back was facing Old Changi Hospital, absolutely creepy. So from our windows, when you opened them up, you could see OCH. Which is why we kept them closed. Haha. But, we drove up to OCH anyway, at about 1am. They painted the place, so not much vandalism now. Then we drove to the beach. Went for a walk and stuff.

Then we drove up to the coffeeshop to watch the Liverpool match. After which, we headed back to drink some wine and went to bed. The next day, after a quick breakfast, Ben, Jo, Gopi, Mel and I walked up to OCH. In daylight, it didn't look as creepy but it felt just the same. We decided to be heroes and went inside. We went all around the place, even to the 2nd and 3rd floors. There was a path connecting to the mortuary, but we didn't go there. Ben went around taking photos. Haha. There was even some vandalism on the floor saying " Jesus was here. " Haha.

So, after a long time of looking around, we headed out. We walked down the road and checked out other chalet's that we could book for our Youth Retreat. We found this awesome one. So big, so beautiful. We bought one can of Coke Zero and shared. We sat down and talked about Sri Lanka. Haha. Let's just say I love that I am Tamil, not Sinhalese. Haha. We went back and ordered Mac's, then watched a few DVD's on the player we rented. Gopi and I watched Kal Ho Naa Ho, then we all watched Pineapple Express, and finally Chalte Chalte.

Across our chalet, there's a Changi Boardwalk. So, we went for a walk. We walked all the way to the end, a very far distance. Somewhere near this awesome beach. All the while, Mel and I forced Gopi to walk infront to protect us from the dozen cockroaches hiding in the dark waiting to scare us. Then, we played cards. It was loads of fun.

I'm glad we had this break. All the while trying to scare Melanie. She's easily freaked by the way. She gets scared of even her own hair sometimes. Haha. We had a toy spider, which is now apparently Gopi's pet spider, Spidey. How creative right. We kept scaring the shit out of Melanie with the spider, by closing the door, switching off the lights and all. Haha. We even messed with her teddy bear, Ratty, named after the species of rat which she thinks looks uncannily like her bear.

The sad part was when we had to return home. But I'm sure we had a great time just spending it away from the rest of Singapore and with each other. We ate loads of Ice-cream with Brownie cake, and spoilt Gopi's voice even more. Now, at least he sounds sexy. Haha. We had breakfast at the coffeeshop before we left, then they dropped me back. The thing is, I didn't get much sleep those 2 nights thanks to the stupid building across the road, the stupid Changi place, and the ghost stories. So, when I reached home at 1pm, I went to take a nap. Turns out, I slept for 22 hours straight til the next day. Haha. I amaze myself sometimes. Haha.

So that's the end of my trip. Now, I'm back here in the real world. Sigh. Trust me people, when the world gets to be too much of a pain in the ass, just start your own exodus to an unknown land or ulu place. It will be so worth it. Til then, I bid you all adieu.

I'll never be the same. If we ever meet again.

=DeBbIe=

Crap.

2010-02-15T22:37:00.002+08:00

Salutations.

Sigh. Just when I thought life couldn't get worse. That the world finally had thrown enough crap on me to last a lifetime. But I mean, this is me right, I never get things easy. I've gotta fight my through every single thing, just like how I've been fighting for the past years. Guess God made me a fighter.

So, with all the crap that's been happening recently, from being rained on to my shoe tearing, from cards being lost to being stranded with no money, I have learnt to make the best of my situation. But in this case, it's more of a dead end. So,we youths planned to have a cycling/trekking trip at Pulau Ubin. I was so looking forward to go. Unfortunately, my stupid knee ( you know the knee which has been giving me so many problems over the last few years and which the doctor declared arthritic) decided to act up. I got up from the chair too fast and something happened and I ended up on the floor.

I screamed bloody murder, after which my brother came running and carried me all the way to the bed. God, I love having strong brothers who are officers of the Army. He carried me because I couldn't move my leg at all. Believe me, I tried, it was excruciating. So, I lay there writhing in pain while my brother tried to help me. Then, I just couldn't lay there anymore, and I just had to move. So, I am now walking around using crutches. Yes, my unfortunate fate.

But I really wanted to go for the trip, so I told my siblings that I would be fine by the morning and I could go. But they were set in their ways, and so I sulkily went to bed. In the morning, as if things couldn't get worse, it was the time of the month again. And so, even though I have gulped down a lot of Panadol, I still have a hot water bag on my tummy. I hope my misery amuses you or at least someone, cos it sure as hell ain't amusing me.

I'm fated to suffer with these extremely horrid menstrual cramps as well as my new found lameness( and by lameness, I mean being handicapped, not extremely lacking in joking skills). I am really uncomfortable. So, so, very uncomfortable. And I wish someone would save me from this misery. Well, someONE more than anyone else, but I'm guessing that person won't be saving me for a long time to come.

Maybe I should write a book about this. To help any other unfortunate person in the world who shares the same fate as mine. But maybe I should come up with a good ending for my own misery first. Maybe I should start from my childhood and growing up here in Singapore. How being an Indian made it harder. I shall call it " The Indian who faced it all. Yes, even that. " This is for all the Indians out there. Being picked on and being a minority really takes it out of someone. Sigh. But, I guess being an Indian makes things a helluva lot more fun.

சொமேடிமேஸ், இ ஜஸ்ட் லவ் பிங் இந்தியன்.

And with that I say goodnight. I'm off to face the world, one miserable encounter at a time. With my trusty lightsaber, oh no, I mean crutches, and my hot water bag.

P.S. Sidekick wanted. Pity not required.

=DeBbIe=

Greatest love.

2010-02-03T21:26:00.006+08:00

Salutations.

The greatest love I've ever known. ♥

For thee.

2010-01-29T23:03:00.001+08:00

Salutations.

For thee.

The longing ache to be with thee.
The sleepness nights I waste in sighs.
For thy face, it haunts my reverie.
No peace of mind I gain, no pleasant dream I lack.
For what could I compare thee to, of which there can be none.
For thou art above all hope, all fear, all love of mine.
I long to bear the thoughts that possess your mind.
I long to bear thy burden.
For in the bondage of thy thoughts, I shall be bound to thee.
And so my soul, may it yearn, til the day it is at ease.
To wander the pastures with thee, beneath the blossoming tree.
There shall my heart be appeased, where it findeth thine heart.
For it shall be known, for ages to come, that it has found thine home.

For my beloved Fadhil. ♥

Love.

2010-01-26T21:24:00.001+08:00

Fadhil. ♥ ♥ ♥

Enough said.

Decode.

2010-01-19T21:29:00.002+08:00

Decode.

Salutations.

How did we get here? I used to know you so well.

I want things to go back to the way they were. When I felt whole. When I could tell you everything and still feel like myself. Because you're the only person whom I felt comfortable telling everything to. I want to hug you again. I want to be your friend again. Because it hurts so much to be without a friend like you. Because how could we go from being so close to being like this now?

I'm screaming I love you so. But my thoughts you can't decode.

=DeBbIe=

Tell me.

2010-01-13T21:53:00.002+08:00

Salutations.

God, please make this pain go away. Please. I cannot bear this hurt anymore. I promised myself I would never allow myself to feel this pain again. And yet here I am. I cannot keep myself together. I am falling to pieces on the inside. The pain is excruciating. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I can't escape the nightmares. I can't seem to look forward to any day. Why must this always happen to me? What did I ever do to be hurt like this? What did I do wrong to push you away like this? I am losing every bit of my sanity. I need to know. I need you. All I have is Shaistah to talk to. Just someone, anyone, please make the aching, empty feeling go away. So that I can pick up the pieces of my heart. I need to know. I need you. Always.

The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.

=DeBbIe=

Screw it.

2010-01-10T21:47:00.002+08:00

Dammit.

Salutations.

You know what?! Screw love. I'm so freaking done with it. Done.

=DeBbIe=

Maybe.

2010-01-08T22:06:00.006+08:00

So maybe.

Salutations. I don't have much words to say. Just, you know how you sometimes find this one song that explains exactly how you feel? And you feel it was written for you at this particular moment in life? Well, I found the song. My player just suddenly decided to play it, and it hit me. Hard. Every line. So, there.

Beep Beep Oh Look Now There Goes My Phone
And Once Again Im Just Hoping Its A Text From You
It Aint Right read your Messages Twice, thrice
Four Times A Night Its True
Everyday I Patiently Wait
Feeling Like A Fool But I Do Anyway
Nothing Can Feel As Sweet And As Real
As Knowing I Wasn't Waiting In Vain

And Maybe Its True I'm caught Up On You
Maybe Theres A Chance That you're Stuck On Me Too
So Maybe I'm wrong Its All In My Head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadn't Said

I'm Always Connected Online
Hooked On Facebook All The Time
Hoping You've Checked My Profile
Just cant help wondering why
You play it cool but see
Im hopelessly falling for you

Every nite on my phone I
flirt with you
and i know you like it boy
all jokin aside
what say you and I
come out and say what were trying to hide

Like I really want you
I think I need you
baby I miss you
I'm thinking of you

Maybe it is true
I'm caught up on you
maybe I am wrong
Baby I miss you.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Sorry.

2009-12-30T23:01:00.003+08:00

Sorry.

Salutations.

I'm sorry. Sorry that I'm not enough. Not enough to love. Not enough to spend one second to just say a simple hi to. Sorry that I am so different. That I'm not like everyone else. I'm sorry that I don't fit in your world. I'm sorry that I'm a disappointment. I'm sorry for sometimes being a failure. I'm sorry if I never lived up to expectations. I'm sorry that I'm not enough to tell everything to. I'm sorry that I am only second best. I'm sorry for being so emotional. I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for hating you. I'm sorry that I am a mess. I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

But, I am just me. And that's all I'll ever be. That's all I can ever give. Myself. My love. My heart. Laid bare on the ground. Waiting to be trampled on or cradled dearly. Til then, my heart shall have it's own conviction. A conviction of genuine love.

It's the end. Goodbye 2009. Greetings 2010. May the Force be with us all.

Cos it's you and me. And I don't know why. I can't keep my eyes off you.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

All the right moves.

2009-12-20T21:01:00.004+08:00

All the right moves.

Salutations. Christmas has been going good. My father bribed me to get out of the house by giving me money to go shopping. Before you go off thinking I'm such a horrid person, I already planned to do my shopping with MY OWN MONEY in Malaysia ok. So, anyway, we went to Somerset 313, that new shopping centre. I don't know all this crap since I am not into shopping as you all know. So, I just follow. Turns out so many BLOODY BOOTS! AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR BOOTS! I WENT MAAAAADDDDD!! WILD!!!!

At last, I didn't buy anything from there. Though I do suggest you go there to shop. Sales galore. Then we took pictures at the Ferrero Rocher tree. Damn it looked so good I wanted to eat it. I mean, hello, chocolate. Everyone knows I cannot resist chocolate. So, then we ended up at Mango at Wisma. And it was there, that I found her. My dress. The dress. It's a black tube dress that has zips all over. It's kinda short, but who cares, it's meant to be like that. Cost me $70. Then, I went over to Bugis and found the perfect shoes to match my perfect dress. It was just meant to be. The shoes cost me $23. And now I have my New Wear outfit. Yay me! :) I'm gonna look so hot. Haha. With my pink hair summore.

Speaking of which, I will be dying my hair pink in Malaysia. In case I forgot to mention it. So, yeah. :) Christmas is turning out to be great! I'm so happy! It's the one time of the year that I can truly be happy inside and outside regardless of everything going wrong. It just has that effect on me. So, I'm enjoying it while it lasts, and before everything has to go back to being normal again. So yes. Will be leaving to Malaysia soon. So, I hope you guys have a good time here in Singapore. Spread the love!

I will be sad though. I will be missing all the parties here in Singapore. Our traditional annual parties at different houses. Sigh. All that turkey, and log cake and carolling and charades. Sigh. Anyways, said a nice goodbye to everyone in church today. So I'll be fine. My poor dad, he was preaching today and he was having back pain. Could hardly stand but carried on preaching. Haha. Then, I had to massage his back when we came back. This is the price of having special hands. Really, you should get a massage from me, EVERYONE looooves my massages. EVERYONE. And we were all so tired today. We were all talking on the bed and then we fell asleep. My dad, my sister, my little brother and me. Haha. All squashed up and sleeping. Haha. It was so fun.

Well, that's about it. I will be gone. The next time I post it will be after Christmas. So fast eh. Damn. So, please enjoy the holidays. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! MERRY CHRISTMAS! :) Love you all. Have fun here in Singapore. Will be missing you guys. Will be missing some more than others. They know who they are. Haha. Ciao people. Happy Holidays! God bless!

All the right moves, hey. Yeah, we're going down.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Ultraviolet.

2009-12-16T21:10:00.003+08:00

Multi-coloured facets of a diamond.

Salutations. I am feeling a thousand different emotions. Aren't I always? Why I am always an emotional rollercoaster is beyond me. It's something inate I suppose. You'd have to be able to penetrate the core of my brain to figure it out. So, as part of my emotional hysterics, I've been watching my Disney Princess movies again. Haha. Starting with my two all time favourites, Cinderella and Beauty & the Beast. I felt so young and girly again. I was singing along. Thank God I was alone. No subjection to mocking from my siblings.

Also, school is out for the Christmas holidays. I am so excited. The 'Christmas Is...' event went superbly well. Everyone had loads of fun. Anna even won 1st prize in the Lucky Draw, a brand new Canon DSLR something something. Yeah, friggin cool. Dinner was awesome thanks to Botak Jones. I can never get over how awesome their food is. Everyone said my dress was really beautiful, so I'm kinda glad that I did eventually wear it.

Still, I have lots to do. Christmas shopping, tuition, Christmas parties,etc. And I'm already leaving early next week. Fadhil even bought me something for Christmas. Isn't that sooooo sweet. :) My mind is constantly racing at the thought of what the gift could be, since he refuses to tell me. Dammit. Anyways, still gotta make my usual Christmas present list. What to get for who. Haiz. A daunting task. I'm running out of presents to buy.

Haiz. Okay, I don't really have anything else to blabber about and I'm sure you probably don't want me to blabber. Although SOME PEOPLE apparently seem to like my nonsensical rantings. Haha. Yeah, ok. So, holla at me if you want anything from Malaysia. Like gum or something. I plan to get my Christmas and New Year clothes there, and to do loads more shopping there. Bring it on! :)

That fire you ignited. Burns when I stand beside it.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Crashed.

2009-12-09T10:06:00.004+08:00

Crashed and burnt.

Salutations. I am just a mess. In pain, both physically and emotionally. My head hurts. My arm and leg hurts. Haiz. And I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. Even for that brief moment, you want to hold on to everyone you love and that ONE person just pops into your mind. It's amazing who or what runs through your mind when you think you're gonna die. I could hear his sweet voice in my head. But somehow, even with all that pain shooting through my body, it doesn't come close to the pain of my broken heart.

Anyway, Christmas is coming soon. I am just looking forward to that. The Christmas cheer always gets to me! I can't wait! Even though I won't be here in Singapore on Christmas Day, I am glad to be going back home to Malaysia. I miss my family there. I miss my Malaysian food. I miss my Malaysia. Negaraku. I will definetely miss my Singaporean people. I have grown so accustomed to celebrating with them. Haiz. I really wish I could be in two places at once. Honestly, I truly wish I could.

I really wish I could reach out and hug him now. But I can't. Haiz. Dammit. Somehow, no matter how hard you try to make it seem like nothing happened, like everything's ok, it can never be that way. Because in the back of your mind somewhere, you're constantly reminded of that one tiny detail that changed everything. Note to self : Keep thoughts inside head. Please dear ones, learn from my horrendous mistake.

Now the fire alarm is ringing. Great. And the guy on the speaker is going on and on about it. I mean, DUH, it's obvious the alarm is ringing. We can hear it. Haiz. Retards. Anyhoo, the concert day is coming closer. Full dress rehearsals went great. We got our MJ leather jackets and our MJ gold outfits. We look so fly. Haha. This sunday is the day. 13th. I've been practicing my songs non-stop, trying to make them sound perfect. All the right moves and I'll stand by you. And I'm going to wear a pretty dress and all. The rare sight of me wearing a dress. Which unfortunately means I have to wear heels. Sigh. But then again, I don't want to look like some misfortuned person on Christmas. So yeah, I'll take the damn dress.

Now, I have to go study and do something fruitful with my life. If I even pause for a while, I will feel the pain of my broken heart reminding me that I can't have him, no matter how hard I try. Haiz. Gonna study now. Numb my mind and heart with the dull words on the powerpoint. At least i can cheer myself up with the fact that SOMEONE didn't make it through to the Idol finals! AHHAHA. God has given me the best present this Christmas. Slyvia for the win! :) I'll shutup now. Goodbye. Seasons greetings!

And then I crashed into you. And I went up in flames.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Falling. So deep.

2009-11-30T21:24:00.002+08:00

How on earth does it happen?!

Salutations. I decided to surpise myself by blogging so soon after I just blogged. I figured, why not. It ain't gonna hurt nobody. So, here I am. Just found out today, that the stupid replacement faci for Web on Thursday, decided to paste my whole RJ for the whole WORLD to see! DUDE! Seriously! WTH! Haiz. I mean, if he wanted to quote me it would be fine. BUT HE PUT THE WHOLE FRIGGIN RJ THERE! Haiz. Boundaries, people. Tsk tsk. I hope he comes back though. He gave me an 'A'. :P

So have been practicing for Christmas. Full dress rehearsals are on the 6th. Our dance is great! Coming together great! We are gonna wear MJ-inspired outfits. :) ALL HAIL THE KING OF POP! So, found out now that for our solo performances, it's gonna be done acoustically. So, All The Right Moves, acoustic cover. I can't wait. Gonna be leading some Christmas carols as well, like O Holy Night,etc. Am so excited. We are going to put up the Christmas tree this weekend. I am absolutely euphoric! My family still cleaning the house. I have magnanimously withdrawn my services.

Everytime it seems that I am moving on and doing fine, someone comes along and makes me feel this way. I can feel myself falling, slowly, but surely. Deeper. But I can't help it, he makes me swoon. Like nothing I've felt before. Damn. I gotta start keeping hold of my emotions. Oh why do I like him so? Sigh. Anyway, was feeling in the mood to write due to overwhelming emotions. So, I wrote. I suppose I feel better now.

Listen can you hear it too?

The silent unending pleas my heart cries.
I am so swallowed, engulfed in emotion.

Above me, no surface, no hope, no life.

Just the stirring of the effervescent wind.

A howling breeze, can you not know?
So fly with me, out of this wary world.

Towards a euphoric haven.

Can you find me? Here I am, matyred.

Surreptitiously, I may have passed.

Woe is me.

Haiz. I doubt I have anything else to say. I have already laid my heart bare. Now, I'm not feeling so good. My class is infected. It's spreading like wildfire, those damn germs. Worse, tomorrow I have to give tuition and then I have dance practice. Yes, this is my life. But I guess it's worth the effort to do something that I love. I love teaching people the beauty of the English language, and I love dancing. Haha. So, I really shouldn't be complaining. I should be thankful for everything that I have, and everyone that I have to hug at the end of everyday.

Which reminds me. I feel like cuddling my little brother know. He always makes me feel better. Haha. Plus, he's sick too. So, we can be all germy together. Haha. Tomorrow is marketing. Dang! At least I have Fadhil's hug to look forward to at the end of everyday. Haha. Thanks Fadhil. You're a lifesaver. :) Alright, I shall be off to spread my germs somewhere else. And to lie down and sleep actually. You can NEVER have TOO MUCH sleep! I only wish I didn't have to wake up at some point. Sigh. Wishful thinking. Okay then. Adieu.

I'm going under. Drowning in you.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.

=DeBbIe=

Automatic.

2009-11-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

A long well deserved break.

Salutations. I am finally back to post yet again. I suppose you would have gotten bored with my usual blabberings, but if you're reading this, then I guess I supposed wrong. Anyhoo, it feels good to blog again after so long. So, more about my life now. School has been great. I am surprised that I have made so many friends. I mean, cmon, it's me we're talking about. I am not exactly number one at making friends, what with my lack of social skills and all. But, I have managed to get along great with everyone so far. Am loving my class, W14C. Also, people within CCC. I thank the Lord everday for them and for being able to study what I love. As Adam Lambert said, It's time for miracles. :)

Everyday in school has been an adventure all on its own. I love going to school now, except for the waking up early part. That always sucks. Haiz. I miss Fadhil. Wish I could hug him now. Sigh. He gives me more motivation to go to school everyday, especially since Ruben has been M.I.A in the mornings. Perhaps he's hiding from me. Haha. He's retaining his first year at Innova, which means he'll be there 3 years. Lucky for me, sad for him. Oh well. But, I really miss Fadhil. That sweet monkey has that effect on me. Haha. He cut his finger the other day, with a penknife, trying to be a hero. I swear my heart stopped for a moment when I heard what happened. Thank God he was alright though.

In other news, Christmas is coming up! YAY! We are having another Christmas event this year, this time at Civil Service Club. It's gonna be LEGEN-wait for it-DARY! As usual, we are doing a dance. There will be bhangra dance and a hip hop. Usually, I am always involved in both, but this time I'm taking a break. Too many things going on to commit. So, I'm sticking to my hiphop. We are doing a collaboration of Ciara, J.T, and of course our beloved MICHAEL JACKSON! KING OF POP, May He Rest In Peace. I feel so proud and honoured to carry on his legend, even in a small way. I really am looking forward to Christmas! AAAAAAAHHH!!! CHRISTMAS!!!! Sorry. Spasms. I always get excited this time of year. Tis the season.

I will also be singing for Christmas. Finally, it's my time for shine. My solo. I am so used to singing in church, but now in front of many people. I thought after joining East View Idol and performing for EV's National Day, I would be over my nervousness. But hell no! I'm so friggin nervous. I will most probably be singing OneRepublic or Taylor Swift. I hope it goes well, so help me God. Wish me luck people! I so DON'T wanna screw up Christmas. Now am thinking about Narnia and Adam Lambert. I have been obsessing over Narnia recently. It being an allegory and all, I can never get sick of it. Also, with Adam's album release, I am going mad! So awesome!

My mother has been bugging us to clean the house, what with the arrival of Christmas and all. I guess this is when having 7 people in the family comes in handy. Efficient cleaning! Hanging curtains, cleaning curtains, cleaning windows, and every other inch of the house. I haven't actually done much work, playing my 'I have school and work to do' card. I am lying in bed eating chocolate fudge cookies, reading Breaking Dawn and snuggled up in my blanket, while the rain is pouring down outside. Perfection. So, I had to take the time to blog this to rub it in your faces. Haha. Sorry.

Alright, I shall be off. I feel bad for not doing work. NOT. I am just waiting for them to finish so we can put up the Christmas tree together!!!! AAAHHH!! :) I am uber excited. Okie, my brother came in to get me to do work. Sigh. Really gotta go. Dammit! Haiz. Til next time, I bid you all adieu. Auf Wiedersehen! Oh yes. Don't forget. Tis the season to be JOLLY! Falalalalalalalala!

There's no real love in you. Why do I keep loving you?

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Stuck with each other.

2009-10-07T10:47:00.003+08:00

New faces. New places. Haiz.

Salutations. I am currently in class, titled Creative Concepts. Yes, I am blogging. No, I am not ignoring the words that are coming out from my facilitator's mouth and focusing on my laptop screen instead. On the contrary, I am done paying attention. Let me explain. Today's task was to come up with a play that shows how different personalities overcome a creative challenge. My team, being uber efficient and uber friendly, have completed our so-called script. Yay team!

So here I am blogging. New Semester. New class. New people. New modules. A change altogether, but change is a good thing. On the first day itself I made friends. My whole class is Mass Com people, so that's a bonus, I think. Plus, I even have my primary school friend here. Everyone has been really friendly and expressive. There are some weirdos here too, sshh, some with fake accents,others with arrogance up to their eyeballs. Haiz. But this is to be expected of Mass Communications. I just have to deal with it.

But I still hang out with my Sem 1 friends. They are just bloody awesome! Haha. Still go with Kanthes to school. And back home as well. And YESTERDAY was SUCH AN EVENTFUL ride back home! Oh God! Almost died of a heart attack. Kan was kacauing me about Ruben, and then.....HE BOARDS THE BUS!! And... HE SAT RIGHT BEHIND ME!!! AAAHH!! Was practically hyperventilating. Gosh! What a day!

Okay. Just had Subway for lunch. Yummy! It's been ages since I downed a sub. I decided to have a change of meal, Subway Melt, rather than my usual Italian BMT. I have saved my 2 delectable cookies for later, to enjoy every bite of it. Yumm. Church has been great. We had a forum 2 weeks ago, topiced Sex: Be aware. A rather interesting debate arose, very enlightening. Last week we decided to chillax, so we screened the Pirates Trilogy. :) Awesome right.

Alright, so I better be off. Make more fruitful use of my time. Ooo.. we are having a discussion in class now. Most people would call it gossip, but we feel that our time spent talking about celebrities and the latest thing to watch is very enriching to the soul. It could be called World News, since we are learning about people who have an impact on the world and they are around the world. Haha.. Ooo, discussion about Ris Low, our super idiotic,bimbotic,wasteoftime beauty queen. Fun! Ciao....................... :)

Baby, we're stuck with each other. Ain't nothing we can do bout it.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Dance Sing Celebrate

2009-09-12T01:10:00.002+08:00

I'm so done Aataming, Paataming, and Kondaataming.

Salutations. I am back, once again, to blog about my adventures. Am currently still having holidays now. Loving the feeling of sleeping at 4am and waking up at 1pm. Haha. Total body clock switcheroo. But as much as I love it, I have to get it back to normal, if not when school starts, I am so dead. Other than my nocturnal turn of events, we just finished Aatam Paatam Kondaatam. 090909. A huge concert for Indian Youths organised by JLC. They invited us to be the opening act and contribute some items. So, being the kind souls that we are, we agreed. We did our Boom Boom Pow dance and also performed 2 song items. Churches from Malaysia also took part, and boy, were they good. Malaysia has a bunch of talented kids man. Haha. That may be a biased statement, but there's no denying it. Haha.

Anyway, our outfits totally rocked. Damn punk chick. Photos will be on facebook. Haha. You gotta love Facebook. In other news, 90210 is back. Hallelujah! Am so loving Season 2. Now we shall just wait upon the arrival of the Season 3 of Gossip Girl. Oh yes, wanna hear an interesting piece of information? ( If the answer to that question was no, I'm gonna tell you anyway.) I picked up this book from the library, titled The Vampire Diaries. ( Yes, I have an unhealthy obsession with vampires, deal with it.) So, whilst reading, I thought to myself, how awesome it would be if this book would be turned into a movie or series. And BAM! While looking for 90210 online, I stumbled upon The Vampire Diaries, the series. Haha. AWESOMENESS!!! :)

Alright, so other than getting excited about my new nocturnal adventures and my love of vampires, I have been wanting to dye my hair again. This time, I'm thinking hot pink. Not my whole head of course, just a few highlights perhaps. It would be super punk. I really wanna do it. But of course, my hair must be bleached in order for it to turn out nicely. However, bleaching can cause damage to the hair, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Haha.

Okay then, so that is about it. Nothing much happened besides that. Hope all my friends are doing okay. Perhaps I shall sign off with something inspiring, since Arran said my last post was moving. Haha. Even though it was just one line. But still, it made a difference. Hmmm...well, just the other day, the organiser of the concert came up to us and said our dance was great. It was really nice to hear that we made an impact and that it was appreciated. I was thankful, even for that one guy. As William Shakespeare once wrote, Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. So...... people, remember this, no matter what, greatness can be acquired, just press on. :)

That's all the inspiration I can give for today. ahahaha. Will see you'll soon. Adios. Have a great week! Ciao! Remember, GREATNESS!! :) and... VAMPIRES!!!... hehe. ;) Goodnight, sweet dreams.

It could be a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Could it BE any more obvious?

2009-09-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

I miss Chandler Bing.. AARRGGHH.

Salutations. Yes, I know my blog has been rather lifeless of late. Just can't seem to find the will to blog these days. Maybe due to the same old humdrum of life. Went back to EVSS for Teachers' Day. Got to see all my friends, classmates and teachers. I was looking forward to that day for God knows how long. Everyday, on my way to school, I always pass by EV, and I can't help but miss everything about it. Secondary school life is so different from Poly life. When I stepped into EV, I really wished I was still schooling there. And after seeing Mirul, Jay, Zhaf, Fit, Cyril, and not to forget Graduates of 08, it made me almost burst out into tears.

People say life is a journey, and that mistakes are made in the past, and it is sometimes best to forget the past and journey ahead to brighter things. But those people were so wrong. The past is there for a reason, to remind you of who you were, to prevent you from making the same mistakes, and to fill your life with memories. I seriously miss my friends, and I wish we could all be reunited somehow, but I know that is asking too much. Oh well. I think about them constantly now, those monkeys stated above, my best friends Nisa, Nury, Aida, Nad, Zah, Amani, my class loves, Arran,Marlon,Dom,Ghaz,Niti. Haiz. Damn. I feel like crying now.

On to a lighter note, having holidays now. Exams over for the time being, and so is my first semester. Can't believe it's been that long already. Seems like just yesterday I was starting out life as a poly student at RP. Just came back from class chalet at Aranda. Quite fun, especially the water bombs. Haha. Gonna miss my W47D gang. Have also gone back to my perpertual love of reading, of course about vampires. Haha. Can't get enough of those bloodsuckers. Speaking of which, I am waiting in sheer anticipation of the release of New Moon in theatres. WOOOHHOOO!!

Anyways, have also strangely been trying to improve my culinary skills. Hopefully, it will be of good use in future. Hoping to add more sophisticated dishes to my repertoire, but for now am satisfied with dishes of the simpler form. Now, have been even more stressed giving tuition. 3 different students can be quite a daunting challenge. Especially since it involves N Levels and PSLE. Let's just hope all turns out well.

So, mainly that is about it. Have been busy brushing up my guitar skills, and also been working on those songs and poems. Wrote a poem for someone, but that led to a lot of insinuations of the wretched kind. So I guess I better save my poems for those who actually appreciate it and who understand how I feel. But I will not give up my love of writing, it is a part of me. Never say never. And as Beethoven said "Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours." Alright then, I shall be off. Till next time, I bid you adieu.

You can never say never. Don't let me go.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

My Secret Dreamworld.

2009-07-29T13:29:00.003+08:00

Don't we all have one? A secret dreamworld?

Salutations. Yes, I know I haven't blogged for a pretty long while. I always mean to get around to it, but somehow, I manage to put it off. I guess I'm slowly outgrowing this whole "I'm excited about blogging" phase. Haha. But oh well, sometimes blogging helps. So, what's been up with me lately?? Well, a lot actually. Too many to include in one post. So, I shall just write about the more important ones, off the top of my head.

Well, the Liverpool match was exciting. Yes, as much as I despise the Reds, I must say I have a new-found respect for them. Haha. I found myself singing along to their theme song. I mean, an English Club playing right here in Singapore. You gotta be excited. And Torres is kinda hot. Haha. It was an exciting game. I was jumping up and down in my seat. I wished Man U came here though. But my brother went for the Man U vs Malaysia game. He took loads of pics, bought a few items to add his collection, and so on. Too bad Ronaldo transferred to Real. :(

In other news, school has been awesome. We had formal day for Enterprise. We had to dress up as if we were going for an interview and such. It was loads of fun. We took loads of pics with thfaci, and we all went to eat lunch together. Then, we took more photos at the Lawn, at class, in the lift. Haha. Then faci interviewed us, to see how prepared we were. To my surprise, she said I was the best and that I was prepared for the world out there. Believe me, I did not expect that. But thank God anyway. I'm gonna miss my classmates when we change class next sem. Fun bunch of people they are. Especially my 168 gang. Haha.

Anyhoo, things have been going good for me. However, was supposed to go out with Adam, but have been swamped with stuff. I hope to make it up to him. Travelling every day to Woodlands and back can be quite of a hassle, and I am usually drained by the time I reach home. But I feel it is definetely worth the trouble. Especially with motivation every morning to see Ruben. Hahahaha. Hope he doesn't think I'm stalking him. I just think he's really handsome. Haha. Oh well.

Will be going to Josephine's and Prince's wedding next week. In Malaysia. I'm absolutely euphoric. I have been waiting for this for so long. I have my outfit planned already. Haha. No harm being prepared eh. Also, have finally returned to the library. After months of being apart. I felt so empty being apart from something that is so deeply rooted in my heart. It felt like I was incomplete. Haha. Yes, this is an incorrigible part of me. No harm can become of this however, seeing as how it is purely beneficial to me.

Hmm? What else. I have been busy continuing to perfect my songs and writing more. The guitar really is a handy tool when you want it to be. It is absolutely astounding how a mere put-together of a simple bunch of chords can turn into a beautifully melodic song. Haha. God bless the person who invented the guitar.

I miss my friends. My East view gang. I have lost touch with most of them. Though they are always in my heart. Every now and then, I think of all the fun times we shared in East View, and I bawl up. I can't wait to see all of them again. I see Fitri now and then, at the bustop as I pass by on my way to school or on the way home. But he never sees me. Oh well. I miss Nisa, Nury, Aida, Nadera, Amani, Mirul, Zhaf, Fit, Jay, Demas, Lock, JD, Ghaz, Cyril, Niti, Kishen. :( I really can't wait to see them. At least most of them get to see each other, being in the same school and all. Lucky buggers. Haiz. I really miss them. I just wish I could hug them all now. Haiz. Wishful thinking. But I really hope this insatiable desire will be satiated soon.

Alright, I can't think of anything else much that has happened. I'm sure there are loads more, but I honestly can't think of anything right now. Next time, perhaps. For now, it's off to live the life of a 17-year-old. I bid you all adieu.

My love for you insatiable.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Auf Wiedersehen.

2009-06-07T19:01:00.003+08:00

Vietnam, here I come!!!

Salutations. It's been a good 1st week of holidays. I have never been more appreciative of slacking. I think. Haha. Anyway, am dead tired. And I have good reason to be, I assure you. Friday night we went to queue up for the Singapore Idol auditions. We reached there at about 9.30pm and there was already about a 100 people. So we got into the line and waited. Then, at about 12mn, they gave us a queue number and told us to return at 7am so that we could be arranged in numerical order. Since it was already 12mn - and not many means of transportation back home - we decided to wait there. So we walked down to PS to makan McDonalds, and then we returned. While trying to sleep, a mouse decided to scare the living daylights out of us, and a few others around as well. So we had to relocate.

After retreating back in between the yellow barriers of the queue out of fear of getting Rabies, we tried to get some shut eye. Despite the cold, hard ground, I managed to get at least 30 minutes of sleep. At 5am, Joanna and Ben arrived and joined us. I was still ignoring Ben, because of earlier complications, so he bought me a Red Bull to apologise. Haiz, he knows my weakness. Haha. So, anyway, after long hours of waiting - it wasn't so bad because Hady Mirza smiled at me as we walked past each other - it was finally time. Joanna made it through the 1st round of auditions, yay! Next will be my turn! Haha.

Anyhoo, moving on. Okto Channel selected us for the Singapore Arts Festival. They found out about Shackle Free III, and wanted to do publicize it on Okto. So, they came down yesterday and filmed us. They recorded 3 of our songs, Decode, Where the Streets Have No Name and Break Free. They also recorded our first dance and a scene from the drama. It was soooo much fun! OMG, I'm going to be on television! Haha. Cannot wait!

In other news, will be heading off to Vietnam soon. Cannot wait to leave this place! I am soooo looking forward to shopping and makaning and just having fun. No studies, no school, no rules baby. Sweet! Can't wait to take off on that plane. Sad part is coming home. But I shall not think of that. Bittersweet symphony. Haiz. Oh well. In the mean time, back to more practices.

Well, that's about it. Nothing else to blog about. I guess I shall be off. Going to eat dinner and knock out cold on my bed. Hopefully, no one disturbs me. Not that I could be woken due to my apparent lack of sleep. I bet I will have this perpetual smile on my face when I sleep, truly enjoying the beauty of sleep. Haha. Alright then, goodbye. Bon Voyage. Auf Wierdesehen.

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Homecoming.

2009-05-29T22:41:00.003+08:00

Is the hols already? Yes it is.

Salutations. Yes, I know I haven't blogged in a while. It's just that I have no time. By the time I come home, and finish my RJ and stuff, I am dead tired, and there's no time left on the clock. Travelling to Woodlands everyday can be a hassle, but I'm getting used to it. The best part is taking the bus every morning with a great source of motivation in the form of Ruben. The day he stepped onto that bus, my world changed. Since the first day of school, it has been a pleasure seeing him. He stays in Pasir Ris too, goes to Innova JC @ Woodlands, and is a total hottie. Best part is, now he knows me and smiles, all thanks to Esther. :)

Anyhoo, in other news, the holidays are here! 2 weeks of waking up late and slacking. Yes! I miss that word.... "slacking".... haiz. Such a heavenly thing in the form of a mere word. Haha. Exaggerated? Yes yes, I know. I'm just facebooking and waiting for Mr. Adam, or should I say 'Elvis' to come online. He said he should be online now, but he still isn't. I was webcaming with Adam during class and he was doing all his usual nonsensical crap. Haha. With his cute breakdancing moves and witty charm. And his usual 'disabled toilet' reference throughout the day. Haha. Gundu. Kambing boy.

Anyway, while waiting for Kambing boy to come online, I shall continue the adventures of my life. Victor's birthday went well. Got him a chemistry set. Now he went to Malaysia with Josh, and I miss him. Haiz. My little bro, without his cute smile. Damn! I wished Zhafri too, and chatted with him on MSN. After all this time, I miss him soooo very much, as usual. And I miss ARRAN TAN SOON LEE!! Haha. I really miss these 2 monkeys. Haha. Really wish I could see them.

Well, other than school, Shackles Free III is coming up. June 27th @ Substation. Can't wait. It's gonna be awesome. Rehearsals are already full underway, and it's gonna be one helluva night. We are dancing to Bigger than the World by J.T and Boom Boom Pow by B.E.P. I was supposed to sing Decode by Paramore, but Joanna akka said I'm not really ready. She said she would let me sing for other occasions first, then next concert I will be able to sing. Woohoo! Excited! Can't wait.

Other than that, mummy's back from hospital. She's doing good. I'm really glad. Also, will be going to Vietnam soon. HAHAHA. Awesome! Also, I am still pissed that Adam didn't win. I shall not go into that topic, if not I'll never stop. All I can say is, injustice. Haiz. Alright, that's about it. I have nothing more to report. And thank you Nad for being an avid reader of my blog. Haha. I shall be back. I hope. Till then, stay safe, and stay healthy. Don't kena attacked by H1N1 okie my loves? Ciao.

Homecoming, homecoming, I'm coming home.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Thinking of you.

2009-05-14T22:46:00.005+08:00

Adapting, I am.

Salutations. Am watching American Idol now. Results show. Am bloody pissed with Americans for voting out Danny Gokey!!!!!!! AAARRGGH!! How could they do such a thing?! It should be Adam and Danny in the finals. I'm actually crying now. Poor Danny. Kris cannot compare to both of them. Haiz. Just so fed up.

Anyhoo, had my Replug audition on Wednesday. I was soooo freaking nervous. Made friends with the other people who were auditioning too. Haha. I was feeling so scared, I thought I would pee in my pants. Haha. But then, guess who shows up? Yes, dearest Adam. He's in Replug too by the way. So he was there, giving me support. It helped a lot knowing he was there. Anyway, audition went well. They said I was very good. I was so happy. So then, usually I go home alone. But it was around 7+, so Adam walked with me to the interchange. He could have nicely walked home, but because he went to the gym earlier, he wanted to take a bus. Haha. So fun talking to him. Macam mat rep betul ah...haha. Our secret.

Anyway, Adam has been awesome. Great support for me! Haha. Today, Matthew was at Cause Way Point. So we met up and he sent me to the bus interchange. Too bad the bus came early, was having fun talking to him. Well, mummy's doing well in the hospital. I just hope she comes back soon. I miss my mother, so much. Haiz.

So, I'm gonna be busy til June, practising for Shackle Free. Bring on the workload eh! My UT's are coming up soon too. Oh ya, have finally eaten my Subway. My long awaited desire has been fulfilled. Haha. I shall eat this at least 1 a week. Haha. Eat Fresh! Haha. Been having fun with class. Getting my usual A's and B's. But only for Maths, it's killing me. Honestly, I can't do that shit! Uuggghh, I despise maths.

Alright. I have to go iron the clothes now and sleep early. Seeing as how I have to wake up everyday at 5.30am to go to school. But I guess it's worth it, cause I get to see Ruben, this cute guy from Innova JC. Haha. And spend time with my awesome friends and class, and creating havoc. Like we did with the laughing gas. Should have taken videos. Haha. SOOOO FUNNY! Suhaili kena overdose. Alright, that's about it. Will blog more soon. Ciao.

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

It's a new day

2009-05-06T21:22:00.002+08:00

The time for change has come.

Salutations. It's been a long while. Well, school has been awesome. Loving my nonsensical crap we talk in class everyday. Haha. And the funny things people present at the end of the day. Like Kanthes, surveillance camera has changed into civilisation camera. Haha. Other than that, I joined Replug IG. Replug is this acoustic band Interest Group. I signed up under vocalist. They have guitarist,keyboardist, percussionist,etc. Anyhoo, auditions are next week, 13th May. The first audition, I have to do sing acapella. Second audition, they will put me in a band.

I really hope I get in. The opportunities presented through Replug are simply jaw-dropping. Including performing on local shows such as Live and Loaded. It was a big day for RP. Haha. Adam is in Replug too. He believes I will do fine. Glad to know someone is supporting me and believing in me. Let's hope I get through. I really want this. In other news, thanks to the stupid H1N1, we are being treated like prisoners in school.

Have to tap our cards to enter school, then get stickers, and then take temperatures, and then report it online. Haiz. Irritating to the core. I understand the need to be concerned, but this is a tad bit too much. Haiz. Oh well, hope all this dies down soon. Especially since we are going to Vietnam in June, I don't want the airport people to be all 'kiasu'. I think I would just react. Not in a good way.

In other news, life has been good. I had made many friends. I just feel I like belong, finally. I feel like everything I have worked to gain in Secondary School is lost. My insights, my time, and most unfortunately, my friends. Seems like they have moved on with their lives, together. While I'm left behind finding my own path. I lost my best friend, the one girl who was in my close group of friends since I started in EV.Haiz. Should have seen it coming.

Anyway, that's life. It's a new day tomorrow. And a new beginning. I shall take everyday as it comes. With God by my side, I fear nothing. Haha. Alright, I shall return soon. Hopefully. Hope you'll like the song, I danced for it. Very motivational song. Written for Barack Obama actually. But who cares.

It's a new day. It's a new day.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

The RP Life.

2009-04-27T08:16:00.002+08:00

Who knew?!!!

Salutations. It's been a while since I've updated. Many things have happened. Firstly, I have started school. Going to RP was never my intention, but here I am. And you know what, I AM LOVING IT!! RP has been great since I started last week. Everything is online and the method of learning,PBL a.k.a Problem Based Learning, is unique to RP. We use our laptops for everything. And we have to do a presentation of that day's problem statement at the end of the day. We also have no lectures! All we have do to at the end of the day is a quiz, evaluation and a Reflection Journal. We learn by doing research before our presentation. I soooo prefer this way than the normal way. It's loads of fun!

I've made many friends! My class, W47D is AWESOME!! We totally rock! We all get along so well. I feel like I'm in 405 again. We are full of nonsense. Haha. And we all love to jack the faci a.k.a facilitator. OMG! OMG! Amanda has just walked in wearing her CHIJ uniform! Hahahahahaha! This is hilarious! Oh by the way, I'm in class now. Before class starts mind you, so I'm not breaking rules. Well, today is the start of 2nd week, and I'm already looking forward to it. Haha! Can't wait. Ok, people are starting to pour in now. I guess I better sum it up.

Oh ya. Before I forget, Abi's 21st birthday went superb. Our dance was good and our song was good too. Botak Jones food, AWESOME! Haha. All pictures are on Facebook. Oh ya, something horrible happened. When I was walking from Aljunied MRT, these 5 local Indian dudes followed me. It was raining so I didn't wanna run. I walked quickly to the coffeeshop before crossing the road. Then, one guy, walked behind me and ran his hand along my lower back. I freaked out and ran across the road! Ben later followed me down to go and find them, but they were gone. It was a very traumatising day!

Alright then, I guess I shall be off. Got some learning to do! And more nonsense to conjure. Haha! Hope the rest of you are having an awesome time too. Haha. I'll see ya soon! Auf Wiedersehen!

Won't be seventeen forever.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Bon Voyage

2009-04-08T00:03:00.003+08:00

Bon Voyage mi amor!

Salutations. Yes, I am officially back from Malaysia. Sad to accept, but unfortunately true. Parting with loved ones and the place of one's birth, is never an easy task. Nevertheless, I had to suck it up and wave goodbye. Needless to say, I was crying my eyes out when I reached Singapore. I wish I didn't have to return here, to this life of hectic scheduling and fast-paced living. I wish I didn't have to return to backing-up and worship leading. I wish I didn't have to start anew in a school miles away from home. But that's all it will ever be, a wish. Wishful thinking will get us nowhere in life. That's the cold, hard truth.

On a more lighter note, I had a blast in Malaysia. The change of environment was refreshing. I welcomed it with open arms. Grace bought for me a nice top from the pasar malam, after much persuasion on my part. Haha. Aunty Sandra bought for me a new pair of skinny jeans. We went shopping for other things as well. Spending time with them was awesome. Uncle Simon encouraged me on how to approach Poly-life on one of our car-rides. I ate all my fav Malaysian food, and all my food cravings were well satisfied. Ramli Burger, Goreng Pisang, Jemput-Jemput, Kaya Balls, Rojak, Laksa, Appam, Sweet Indian Appam, KFC, Big Apple, Dunkin' Donuts, etc. Haha. We made apple pie too, which turned out wonderfully I might add. Grace made fruitcake too.

We also went for a youth BBQ. Had alot of fun at Uncle Raymond's house. Mia, his 4-month-old baby, is absolutely adorable. Haha. SOOOO CUTE!! Had fun playing games, eating awesome food. Haha. Then we had to leave. Slvina, my cousin, and I had a special tear-filled moment the night before. Haha. I would give anything to be back there. For me, I have no reason to want to come back here or to stay here anymore. Grace and I wanted to stay there longer, but we had to come back for a friend's 21st. Haiz. I can't wait to go back. I really miss my family and my country.

Sigh. I can't write anymore. It just makes me feel worse. And I am already feeling horrid. I have been puking my lungs out today. Who knew puking could be so tiring. It's okay if none of you'll understand what I am feeling. I hope one day you do. Because then you will feel a love so deep for your family and for your country, that goes way beyond patriotism, but can only be described as a love for the home you know you belong in. After all, home is where the heart is. Ciao.

I'm going home. To the place where I belong.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

This is my time.

2009-03-22T23:43:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

Salutations. Yes, it is my birthday. Hurrah! I am 17. Said goodbye to Sweet 16 and hello to Sexy 17. It was an awesome day. My dear brother,Joshua, was the first to wish me. And then followed by Slvina in Malaysia. Ironically, those furthest away wished me first. Followed by my family. Went to church and had a great time. People wished me and all! So happy they remembered.

We went to eat lunch at Ananas Cafe. The chicken rice there is superb. Haha. A must try. Moving on, we went back to church for a quick rehearsal for something. Abigail, I know you most probably will be reading this, so this is all I'm saying. Then after that, the guys came back from soccer and we left. I wanted the Westies to tag along too, so Ben suggested that we go to the Toa Payoh outlet. Botak Jones, I mean. If you haven't tried eating there after living in Singapore for so long, then you're pathetic. It is a MUST TRY. It's awesome American food that is located at several coffeeshops. Yum-o!

Anyhoo, Ben was right. There was other wonderful stalls there. Ben wanted to buy wine or champagne for me. Haha. They payed for my dinner too. And they,my friends and the Botak Jones people, surprised me with a slice of cake. Chocolate, my fav. I wasn't expecting it at all. Honestly. I am really happy that my birthday turned out well. Spending time with loved ones is the best option. Thank you EVERYONE for your encouraging words. It touched my heart.

Oh well. All good things must come to an end. My birthday is about to end now. At least I get to be 17 for a year. Haha. Seventeen forever, just like Edward Cullen. Yeah, right. Thank you everyone for your wishes! It's nice to know you care. Well, I shall go and pack for Malaysia now. Going back home for 2 weeks. Can't wait. I miss home so badly. Can't wait to leave Singapore. Ciao beautiful people.

Seventeen Forever.

Sexy 17.It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Keeps getting better

2009-03-06T23:22:00.003+08:00

Keeps going on, doesn't it?

Salutations. Here I am, once again, ready to update. I have no idea what to type, so I'm just gonna go with the flow. Have been through a tough week, full of tears and heartache. But that is just life I guess. I shall continue to uphold my poker face. At least I think I have been upholding it. You can never really tell how someone else reads you. But you have to deal with the 'BOOYAH' moments, the bittersweet moments, and the downright shitty moments. Had a good talk with Ben and Abi over dinner at Pastamania. The food is surprisingly delicious yet horrendously overpriced. Tsk tsk. The pasta was delightful, with the right hint of Tabasco and the garlic bread was perfectly toasted. Haha. Before I turn into a food critic, I shall change the topic.

So, my birthday will be here soon. I am really excited. I just wish that my brother would be able to make it, against all odds, back home. I really want him to be here to celebrate this moment with me. I mean, cmon, you only turn 17 once. Cmon people over at SIA, have a heart. Please. Haiz. Let's just hope I have a good birthday. I shall put up a wishlist here, so that I can cross it off. Hopefully, stuff actually gets crossed off. Haha.

In other amazing news, I have finally wrote a song. Haha. I spent the whole of this evening writing this song. This came after my weeks of gritty practice on my guitar. My fingers have wonderfully turned blistery pink as perfect evidence. Trust me on this one, it ain't pretty. But despite this, I have gone against all odds, pursued all that is to be pursued, and challenged myself, to write this song. Too drama? Yeah. But, it paid off. All to have those words at the bottom of the song saying " Music and Lyrics by Deborah Malini." Yes, accomplishment is mine. Here's to many more songs to come.

Alright, I guess I have nothing more to blabber on about. Hope you all are doing well in your own daily rituals of life. Nad, I hope JC is going good. Can't wait to see you. I miss EV. Haiz. Well then, I shall be signing off now. Goodnight and Goodluck.

Can't read my poker face.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Wrote me a letter.

2009-02-19T22:45:00.003+08:00

I found myself.

Salutations. I am only updating because my dear besties have been bugging me about it. So, dear Nisa, Nad, Zah, Nury, Aida, Amani, here goes. Well, after appealing and a whole of tears, the doors to Mass Com were shut. I thought there was no way. And I cried my heart out, and went on my knees in prayer. And you know what God did? He opened a door. :) The HOD for Mass Com at RP called me. I was originally posted there to some engineering course, which I did not apply for. We talked and she offered me a place in RP to do Mass Com instead. So that's where I'm headed people.

It wasn't what I was planning on, but I know it's God's will. He really is faithful to the end. He found me and comforted me through everything. When I was lost and insecure, He was there. Can't wait to start school. Have just been bumming around. Haha. But I am enjoying it, a good break before the stress of Poly. Even though I have to travel to Woodlands, but at least I have Esther, over at Innova. Alright, so church camp coming up in June. Vietnam, baby! Hope it's gonna be good.

Well, nothing much has been up. Mum has been recovering well. Just had the stitches removed yesterday, so it will take a while. Oh ya, we had a movie marathon last Sunday. Watched The Coffin( Gopi's brilliant idea), which was somewhat scary. Ben recorded us gals screaming our lungs out. Haiz. We watched Slumdog Millionaire after. It is superbly directed and wonderfully portrayed. Awesome show. Lastly, we watched Interview with a Vampire, an old classic which we watched just because of Brad Pitt. Joanna made a Western dinner, rather delectable. I slept on the couch with no blanket and ended up getting the flu due to the AC.

My birthday will be here in a month's time. Awesome. Seventeen forever, just like Edward. And my brother will be returning from Down Under, in mid-March. Best birthday present ever. It seems like time has been whizzing past. Haiz. I am kinda nervous. I am leading in songs on Sunday in church, for the first time. I can feel those bloody butterflies fluttering around inside me.

Alright, well, other than that, nothing much to report my dearies. I shall post as soon as there is news. I'm sure you all have Facebook. That's where you can keep track of all my doings and whereabouts. It's really a timesaver. Hurrah for Facebook. Don't forget to catch the Oscars. I shall be off then. Cheerio!

Lost and insecure. You found me.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Halo

2009-01-20T22:08:00.004+08:00

Feeling Your embrace.

Salutations. It's been a painful experience these past few days. Receiving correction, growing, learning, choosing the right path. Boy, its stressful. I got 16 points for my L1R4. So, I applied for Mass Com at TP, as planned. I applied for a range of courses, such as Psychology, Law,etc.

In other news, Man U has moved to the top of the table. This is terrific news. We have finally put Liverpool in its place. Below us. Haha. These past few days, I have been baking, keeping myself occupied. I made Rock Buns and Rasberry tarts. Yummy. It turned out awesome. I also made Chocolate cookies today. They sucked. I threw them out. Haha.

Anyhoo, I also have been busy keeping up with Vijay. Watching all his tamil movies. He's soooo gorgeous. If only my Tamil was better. Haha. Love has no language barrier. :) So, I'm good. Well, I really don't have much else to talk about. Oh ya, gotten addicted to The Office. Hilarious show. All thanks to JJ. Steve Carell does an awesome job. And I love Jim. So cute and funny. Haiz.

Also, there's a wedding coming up. Gotta dance hip-hop and bhangra. Wow. Gonna be hard. But I'll pull through. I hope. Haha. Well, I am addicted to Halo. Beyonce's song. Not the game. Like, amazing. Superb. It reminds me of angels and God. Too bad she sings it about some dude. No dude is ever worth that much praise. Except maybe Edward Cullen. But he's not a dude, he's a vampire. See the difference. Speaking of which, I now have a Twilight poster in my room. Perfection.

Alright then. I guess I shall be off. I have Gossip Girl episodes to catch up on. And The Office episodes too. Maybe even a tamil movie. Hehe. Busy busy me! Haha. Hope you all are having a great time out there. Remember, be happy. Live your life. But God is watching.

You know You're my saving grace. I can feel your halo.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Twas the night before results

2009-01-11T22:20:00.003+08:00

AAAHHHH.

Salutations. It is the night before O Level results. I am friggin scared. Despite people reassuring me that I am going to do well, and knowing God is with me, I can't help but be overcome with fear. It's just human nature I guess. But despite all that, there is sadder news. Yes, when I thought that things possibly couldn't be more heartbreaking. Firstly, I wanted to go out with my friends today, to Simpang. To be surrounded by their warmth and lovingness before getting my results. To bask in their encouragement. But they all didn't want to go. I understand. This is made even sadder by the fact that my school friends asked me along, and I bailed, for nothing. Haiz.

Next thing I know, there is a Man U vs Chelsea match tonight. I asked Caleb if I could tag along to Bob's house, and he turned me down. Shocker. But what hurts, is that he promised the last time, to bring me to the next match. He brushed it off like it was totally nothing. It hurts when people closest to you break your heart. I really love soccer. And it's not like I can watch it at home, no cable TV. Why do I have to be the freak of a girl who loves soccer? Then I end up losing out, cause I'm the only girl.

Guess I was meant to live a life of solitude. I understand their feelings. Who wants a girl around right? To ruin their fun. If only God made me a guy. I would be so much better at being a guy than a girl. Looks like I'm stuck. I just have to face life the way it is. SHIT. Results. Tomorrow. DAMN. It would be great encouragement if Man U wins. Go RONALDO! Haha. I'm tryin my best to dry these tears up and put a smile on my face. Anybody wanna help?

Tomorrow is going to be hell. Only good part is seeing my friends. First, results that define my life. Next, a half hour of correction from my mentor. Yippee. Guess God really wants me to change. I am changing. I have let go of things past. Let's hope I am able to take the correction with maturity. It's gonna be hard, but I know I must. Lord, help me. Oh ya, mummy is doing well. The op went smoothly. She has been discharged. She is walking around, actively. I am so happy. She has overcome the depression and is walking in victory. Hallelujah! Truly God's grace.

Alright. Guess I will be off now. Going to cheer myself up with Whose Line videos and some other Youtube stuff. Haha. Wish me luck. Next time you see me, I'll be an O Level graduate. Amen. May the force be with you all. Now, we all have to be Superhuman and face it.

You changed my whole life. Feeling all Superhuman.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

Post Xmas times

2008-12-29T16:43:00.003+08:00

A jolly good time eh?!

Salutations. It is the 29th of December. Firstly, I would like to wish my dearest friend Sanjay, a very HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!! I wished him at 12mn. Haha. I love doing that. Anyhoo, Christmas was a blast. Had an awesome lunch at home with my family. Then, we proceeded to Pastor Amos' home for dinner. It was sooooo much fun. Yummy yummy tantalizing food. Smoked chicken, prawn sambal, spaghetti, turkey ham, cheesecake, fruitcake, fruits, murukku and sooo much more. Had a bit of wine too. Haha. We all played sherades. I guessed almost all for my group, Team Laddoo. We beat Team Murukku. It was loads of fun.

The youths stayed over. We played card games, played some other weird games and stuff. The guys decided to hold their own gambling den in the corner, playing Blackjack. So we, the gals and Ben, drove down to the cemetries at CCK area, since we were nearby. We drove into the cemetries. Rather creepy. Then, we headed back. Chilled a bit longer, then went home. It was a great Xmas day. I wish it didn't have to end. Haiz.

Well, there's always New Year to look forward to. One big, long holiday season. The best part is, I don't have to go back to school on the 2nd of Jan. Weeee! Haha, so exciting. It certainly is a beautiful time for celebrations. Oh ya, Josh Immanuel and I are going to sing a duet for New Year. I was supposed to sing a solo, but knowing me, no way. So we are singing Beautiful Day by U2. Wonderful song, wonderful band. Esther, Gopi, Paul and Luke are doing a dance. A remix of 4 Minutes and a JabbaWoockeez song. It's gonna be a blast!

I already got my black boots to wear. Now, all I need to get is this dress that I saw at Bugis Street. Then my look will be uber gorgeous. Haha. I'm bubbling over with excitement. Alright, I shall be off now. Will post again on New Year. Have a happy holiday people! Cheers!

It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T01:07:00.003+08:00

Woohoo.

Salutations. Yes, I know. It's finally here. MERRY CHRISTMAS! It's 1a.m. now. Officially 25th of December, Christmas Day. I am so excited. I've been waiting the whole year for this. My family celebrated with the popping of a Sparkling Juice bottle at 12mn. We prayed a short prayer, and toasted. Then we opened a box of Ferrero Rocher. Joshua called from Australia. He isn't doing much for Xmas there. I miss my brother sooo much. Then my family in Malaysia called. Uncle Simon, Aunty Sandra and Slvina.

Went shopping earlier today at Bugis and Tampines Mall. Did some last minute shopping. I already went shopping the day before at Plaza Sing, but when it comes to Xmas shopping, you can never buy enough. Haha. Have been receiving loads of smses from everyone. Even Sanjay and Ghaz wished me. Haha. How sweet. Anyway, will spend lunch with the family. Made fruitcake, murukku, mutton,etc. Yummy! For dinner, we'll be headin over to Pas Amos' home.

Alright. I just wanted to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas. Have a happy holiday. Spend this time with your loved ones, and spread the love. And remember the real reason why we celebrate Christmas. The birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. God bless you all. I have to turn in early. Gotta wake up early to wrap gifts. Haha. Sweet dreams everyone. :D

Have yourselves a Merry little Christmas.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Joy to the world

2008-12-21T20:29:00.004+08:00

Is it here yet?

Salutations. Today was a good day. Went to church. Had fun. We sang carols after service. I can't believe Christmas is on Thursday. It's sooooo close. Weeee. I have finally gotten a Christmas tree. Blue and silver ornaments. And beautiful lights. My first Christmas tree in Singapore. Rather memorable. Haha. Anyhoo, it sits comfortably in the corner of my living room, adding glow to my home. It truly feels like Xmas.

Other than that. I HAVE FINALLY WATCHED TWILIGHT. I just couldn't be more ecstatic. I have watched it thrice. I watched it for the first time with Nithya. Then second, I watched it online. Third, I watched it with Esther and Faith. It was beautifully perfect every time. I'm planning to watch it again. It was just awesome. Robert Pattinson did a superb job. I was honestly hyperventilating throughout the film. Damn hot for a cold-skinned vampire. Oxymoron.

Alright, so I have to buy Xmas presents and my New Year outfit. This year no event for Christmas in church, but we will be having our annual Watchnight Service on the 31st. I'm going to wear a red dress, hopefully. I can't believe I am going to 17. Wow. If only, 17 forever. Just like my beloved Edward Cullen. Oh well. I just I just have to embrace it. I shall post again on Christmas. I think. I love this version O holy night. Mariah Carey did a great job. Alright then. Merry Christmas! Cheers!

O holy night. It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Decoding

2008-12-14T23:44:00.004+08:00

Guess I interpreted wrongly.

Salutations. I was originally going to say that it was a fruitful weekend. But things decided to take a turn of their own. I was in church to help out with the Christmas deco. Yes, we put it up. Then, I saw Josh. He came to help out too. Was glad to see him after so long. Haha. Putting up the deco was really fun. The Christmas tree, the ornaments, the snowflakes, the bell, the beads. And of course, the snow spray. With Xmas carols playin from Abi's Ipod. It was so much fun, with everyone helping out.

Then today, after church, we had the Kids Christmas Party. I had to dance and sing. We had to do some Hi-5 kind of dance. Haha. We also sang songs like Frosty, Rudolph, etc. We wore reindeer antlers with little bells on them. Haha. So cute. Esther said I looked like House Bunny. Obviously, she can't differentiate between the two animals. The food was great too. Yes, we took pictures. Will try to Facebook them soon. We also finally bought a Xmas tree. I'm so excited. God has answered my prayers. Then, things took a turn for the worst.

Why is it everytime I try to let go of you, you come back into my life, haunting me? It hurt worse than any cut I've ever gotten. It was like my heart was ripped out. Why do I have to love you so much? Why is it that tears are pouring down my face? I wanna move on, to let go of you. Of everything that reminds me of you. But when I see you with her, oh God. Pain cannot begin to describe what I feel. Maybe I'm being paranoid. But everyone can see it too. Oh God. Why do people have to fall in love. I wish it was all over. I thought I knew you well. But I'm still decoding what it all means. I'm trying so hard. But I keep stumbling. They make it seem that giving up the one you love is easy. If only. Haiz.

The love that kills
Your face that haunts my once peaceful nights.
Your eyes that peer within my soul.
Your voice that shatters all hope.
But yet you seem to be mine.
Or so I hope to believe.
I can feel you slipping, far away,
Not of my own will, I know.
Her enchanted words have charmed you.
And here I am left, a bleeding victim.
Bleeding my love out for you.
As you fall in love with another.
Fate has cast such doom upon me.
All out of entrusting my heart to you.
Yet,despite the wounds, it still does.
They wish our world would no longer exist.
But has God decided more for us than we know?
Time has only left me, scarred.
Yet, my love is all I can give to you.

How did we get here? I used to know you so well.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

My rehabilitation

2008-12-06T21:31:00.003+08:00

Have I checked in? I think so.

Salutations. Today was a rather productive day, I would say. I fell sick last night, after going swimming in the evening at Deepak's house. The swim was totally worth it, but the flu that proceeded, was not. So, I took medicine,and now I'm fine. But I was so reluctant to get out of bed to go to church for music practice. Had no choice. So after practice, Abi and I had our dinner scheduled. As usual, we went to Subway. We had a rather interesting drive there, haha, in Abi's new car. Poor girl, she was scared as hell. So, while enjoying our scrumptious meal, we had our mentor to mentee talk.

She made me realise that life is worth living for yourself. No guy or person is worth wasting your life over. I really opened up to her and vice versa. I almost cried so many times. But I tried holding it in cos I was in a public place. I guess it's time for me to check into rehab. I can't let him affect me anymore. There's so much temptation around me, but I have to prevail. I am more than a conqueror in Christ.

Guess my blogskin is perfect then. Haha. I have to let go of the love, the hurt, everything. All that I hold on to of him, shall be no more. I'm letting you go, boy. It hurts, but I must. You were my everything, but now God is. No longer my ecstacy you shall be. Woah, I sound like Yoda. Here's to a new year of indepedence, womanhood, singleness, dignity and GIRL POWER. I am my own woman. Or at least, I'm trying to be. I ain't perfect. Oh this is going to be hard. Pfft.

Anyway. Twilight is coming out soon. Super excited. AAAAHHH. Hurrah! Xmas is coming too. I have excitement in every bone. Hurrah! The year has come to an end so quickly. Oooo. I haven't thought of gift ideas. I better start planning now. The folks are going to be out of town tomorrow. FREEDOM.Have plans already. Haha. If only freedom could be placed inside a box, neatly wrapped, tied with a lovely ribbon, and delivered to someone as a Christmas gift. Ooooo. Coolation! Hurrah!

Alright, enough of my British exclamations. Oh ya, Selena Gomez isn't as bad as I thought. After watching Wizards of Waverly Place, I believe she has some talent. Kudos to you. Happy now Nithya. Haha. Speaking of whom, I am supposed to meet her and Priya for Ben and Jerry's. Hurrah! Oops. Alright then. Cheerios!

You were like my lover and my best friend.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

My Christmas cheer

2008-12-02T00:02:00.005+08:00

When will it happen?

Salutations. Christmas is coming closer. I really cannot wait. First, we have the Kids Christmas Party on the 14th. Next, we have My Hope Parties on the 20th. Then, eventually Xmas itself. Bobby asked me to type an article for our Youth Newsletter, titled, What does Christmas mean to me? Somehow, within the next few weeks, things will eventually become more Christmas-ish. I really love that. Every year, however, one thing never changes. My home. No tree. No decorations. Just the same old house 365 days a year. I wouldn't mind not having any presents. Just to see my house look festive, will be enough for me. That is all I want. Please, can someone grant me my wish this Xmas? God, please help. :(

Haiz. We'll just have to see. So, 18 more days to Twilight. I cannot wait. I know it's gonna be awesome. Can't wait to see Robert Pattinson in action. Boy is he gorgeous. And a Brit too. Oh Lord. Alright, Jo akka and Abi are getting their cars. This is awesome. I can't wait to drive. Gopi is going to drive too. Soon. Esther has left for Korea. Josh J is having an awesome time in USA now. New Jersey. Paul returned from Hong Kong. Seems like everyone is enjoying themselves this holiday season. I hope I do too. I wish my mummy was ok. And I wish a Xmas tree and Xmas decorations would appear in the night. Wishful thinking aint going far.

Other than that, nothing much. Been watching movies and chillaxing. Oh, I really really can't wait for Xmas. Haha. Time to start planning my resolutions. Alright. I'm off to Facebook and going to watch a movie now. Will be including Xmas Carols as much as possible. Happy holidays!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Love lockdown

2008-11-26T14:13:00.003+08:00

Haiz. Haiz.

Salutations. It's been a while since I've updated. Not that I didn't have time, but rather I grew bored with blogging. Haha. But now my boredom has driven me to the point where I am blogging, as you can tell. Anyhoo, Niti woke me up today. She asked me what day to book tickets for Twilight Night. Yes, she's rather kiasu. Haha. Better safe than sorry. I really can't wait for Twilight. It broke box office records on its opening weekend. $70.6 million, now that is a whole lot of greens. Beloved Edward.

Alright. So I'm giving tuition to a soon-to-be-P6-kid. That's my source of income. But my sister is bugging me to get a real part-time job. I'm thinkin about it. I really need the money to buy Christmas presents for everyone and maybe get a Christmas tree for my home. My home doesn't feel like Xmas at all. No decorations. No tree. Just the same old everything. I love going to other people's houses during Xmas, cos their houses are beautifully decorated. Unlike mine, where the Xmas cheer is lacking. Haiz.

My dad can't take off. So guess we won't be going back home to Malaysia for Xmas. Am really disappointed. I really wanted to. So much for wishful thinking. Guess we are stuck here in sunny Singapore. Maybe it'll snow. Maybe. The Xmas cheer is sooooooo awesome. The mood for romance, love, joy and peace. I'll find my prince someday. And then we'll have the perfect Xmas. And then we can sing Taylor Swift's Love Story. Haha. A girl can dream, can't she?. Haha.

Alright. Well, that's about it. There isn't much to post about. It's been a good year. Cheers! And to my beloved frenz, we should go out sometime. Dying to see all of you. Especially Fit. Miss ya Fitri. Alright then. Auf Wiedersehen.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Wind beneath my wings.

2008-11-14T10:56:00.002+08:00

Is it actually over?WOW.

Salutations. Yes, a major milestone has been completed. I have completed 12 years of education. I was literally counting down the minutes. And I could not stop smiling once the papers were collected. WOW. Secondary school is over, just like that. Boy, the memories I have there. And now, it's all over.

So, now, of course, we are enjoying our hard-earned freedom. You won't actually feel that sense of liberation unless of course you really mugged your arse off. It's a warm,fuzzy feeling inside. Haha. Very much like falling in love for the first time. I am trying my best to make good use of this freedom. To really explore the vast amount of Singapore out there, and to discover the true sense of the word FREEDOM. All this before I get my results. Cause that, as we all know, may come as a damper. I really pray I do well. Especially for Maths. I really do not wanna disappoint Ben. Just to see that magical smile on his face, and to hear him say that he's proud of me, that would make every stressful worth it. Sorry Ben, if I disappoint you. I did my best.

But let's put that behind us now. Only God knows. And whatever happens, Solo Deo Gloria. Anyhoo, X'mas is around the corner. I'm already feeling the X'mas cheer. Carols. Lights. Presents. I can't wait. Hopefully, we finally get a X'mas tree this year. Or hopefully, we go back home to Malaysia for the hols. I really miss home. And my family back there. It's gonna be a hoot.

Alright, so later I am going to go dye my hair. Yes, red. In a matter of hours. I really hope it turns out well. Then, soon, I am gonna do my piercings. Weee. WILD CHILD. Oh ya, Caleb received two Man U jerseys for his birthday. So unfair. I want one. It's No. 11 for him, cos it's his number and his fav player, Giggs. I want Number 7. Yeah, Ronaldo. Oh well. X'mas is coming soon. Hint hint. Haha. Let's hope I get everything on my wish list.

Alright. Well, nothing else to write about. Other than the fact that I'm gonna miss my friends dearly. I better not write anymore, before I get all teary-eyed. And before the com shuts down on me. Again. Thousand apologies. May the Force be with you. Auf Wiedersehen.

I want my life to be like a High School Musical.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

A night to remember

2008-11-11T13:41:00.005+08:00

It's senior year for us. Damn.

Salutations. It's been a while. I wish life would slow down. Seriously. It seems as if everyone is packing up and ready to move on, out of East View. Haiz. Now I know how those HSM people felt. Could I please have more time to spend in East View, I ask wishfully. If only T.I could materialize in my life right now and sing those beautiful words," Baby, you can have whatever you like". Oh well, so much for wishful thinking.

I wish my sister would get a life. Out of the blue, she told me to stop making late-night calls until 2am. Pfft. What nerve?! I only used the phone for 15 mins. I avidly read my book after that, in my living room. And there she goes accusing me. She should be pointing fingers at herself. Great example she's set. Roll eyes. Some people really do need a life.

Alright. One last paper left. And then I'm free. Free to be me. On the 13th of November 2008, at exactly 9am, I will be FREE. Liberty never tasted so sweet. At least something sweet to look forward to, in this year of uttermost depressing instances. Finally, Sweet 16, will actually be sweet. Other than that, same old friend issues. I would love to know whats the point of continuing in a friendship of 12 years, when the friend doesn't even TRUST you? Beats me too. Maybe I have committed grave offenses against thee, but I have looked past the offenses made on your part. The foundations and basis upon which friendships are built these days have really changed, so I've seen. Trust no longer seems to play a role, and neither does forgiveness. How a friendship ever progresses without them, baffles me.

Scream. That's what I want to do. Scream. I don't know what to do anymore. What decisions to make. My life's one big rolling pin of disaster. Okkkkayy, this is way weird. My life is starting to sound like a HSM 3 movie. Oh Lord. At least there's Zac Efron. Haha.

Just wanted to give a shoutout to these people. Nisa, who has stuck by me for all four years. Thank you. Your patience and dedication to our friendship is rather humbling. Mirul, who has been a great support and who took me in when I was alone. Thank you, and your beautiful brown eyes, for everything. Love you. Abigail, who has never failed to advice me in every situation. I am the most difficult and stubborn person to mentor, but she pushed me nonetheless. Josh J, thank you for making me laugh. I regret not getting to know you sooner. Great Chem teacher too.I'm glad I can trust you. What would I do without you?!. Zhaf, no matter what, you will always be in my heart. I love you so much. You will always be my adik.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR BROTHER CALEB!!! LOVE YOU!

Baby, you can have whatever you like.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Lifeline.

2008-10-26T22:36:00.005+08:00

I'm not insane. I'm not insane.

Salutations. I know I just posted on Friday. But I cannot take it. I am carrying this unknown burden right now, and I can't place my finger on it. It is utterly frustrating. Let me paint the picture. I was in a good mood. The day at church had gone wonderfully. After a while of smsing Josh J, I was prepared to start revision for Physics. I switched on the laptop for music purposes, and focused solely on my work. Then HSM 2 starts, and I take a break to watch it.

I faithfully carried on with my work after HSM. Suddenly, I get this urge to do something wild. I feel this sense of wanting to be liberated, and let me say, it was pretty overpowering. And now my emotions are running amock. I am filled with a sense of trepidation, but somehow confidence too. Have I suddenly become hormonally imbalanced? PMS?

Haiz. Help me Lord. Yesterday I had my moment with God. I poured out my heart to Him. Told Him everything that was troubling me. And after much crying and heartache, I was joyful. I knew God had heard me. He always does. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nothing could demoralize me after that. God threw me that lifeline when I needed it most.

I guess I want freedom to do whatever I want, NOW. I want to pierce my tongue, pierce my ears again, get my tattoo, and dye my hair. This is what I want. And I will do it. Just as soon as I finish proving Singapore that I am more than capable of applying my knowledge of these past years into one paper. Thank God for blogs. What a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I feel better now.

I guess when you're pressured with a major exam, when you have lost your closest friends, when you lose the guy you love, when things at home aren't so good, and when you feel alone, going WILD is the only way to escape. Yup. My hypothesis. Alright, back to more studying for me. Before that, I am going to cheer myself up with some Hannah Montana karaoke. She always makes me happy. Haha. Weird, I know.

Btw HAPPY DEEPAVALI!! Deepavali Valthukkal.

Keep me afloat. Cos I know I'll sink without you. Throw me a lifeline.

Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

My way or the highway

2008-10-24T13:30:00.004+08:00

My way or the highway.

Salutations. It's been a while. Fortunately, I have a reasonable excuse.That being O Levels. Here's the update. After being completely disparaged by my Science Practical, things are looking up for me. My Chemistry paper, which was followed by my English and Maths paper, were all very easy. I am honestly astounded by this somewhat comforting fact. Chemistry has never been in my good books, but it is now. Nithya was so nervous before the English paper. I guess the pressure got to her. So she asked me to pray for her, and she was ok. God always comes through.

Anyhoo, I shall spare you people today. I am not going to ramble on about my unfortunate problems, though they do keep accumulating. Same people.Same problems. I have managed my frustrations though. I have acrimoniously yelled at the wall. It's rather amazing what a wee bit of imagination can accomplish. Oh well. I am holding on. Salvaging myself. Holding on tight.

I can't wait for these O's to finish. I want to break free. I can't even watch HSM 3. Poor Zac Efron is going to have to do without me. At least I have my Jonas Brothers to keep me company. And speaking of which, I have finally succeeded in watching Camp Rock and Gossip Girl. I am complete now. Call me crazy, but I can't live without my Jo Bros and the scandal of the Upper East Siders. Its somewhat of a painkiller for me.

Alright then. I am going to indulge in food and drown my sorrows in sleep. No, I am not an overeater or an oversleeper. I havent eaten the whole day. And I have been having an imsoniac these past couple weeks. It sucks big time. Honestly. I feel like a vampire. Oh wait a minute, that isnt necessarily bad. Haha. Edward Cullen, baby.

So I 'll wait til kingdom come. A little bit longer, and I'll be fine.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Empty

2008-10-16T16:52:00.004+08:00

Feeling empty now.

Salutations. I know people may think that I am overreacting, especially those of you dedicated ones out there who are reading my blog. But, the fact of the matter is, I am not exaggerating. It is what it is. This is life from my view, my eyes. And so, if I perceive certain issues in a certain manner, then that is all up to me. I don't need to explain myself to you people.

Well, Nisa and Nury asked me along, for studying of couse. Well, the reason I don't wanna go is because of this sense of emptiness I feel. I just don't belong. Like the odd piece of a jigsaw puzzle that you think fits perfectly into the empty slot, but no matter how hard you push it and force it to fit, it never will. So, I just exclude myself. That seems to help me heal, in a way.

I have already lost most of what is dear to me. Zhaf, well, needless to say, doesn't need me anymore. I'm losing Amirul too. We are not that close anymore. Conferencing with each other, that's fine. Don't bother inviting me. Oh wait, you didn't. Call me selfish, but I don't care. I need these people in my life. Nisa and I are not close anymore. Guess the people you love the most, always tend to hurt you the most too. Unfortunately, I realised this a wee bit too late.

Well, no use complaining right. Brave the storm. Fight the winds. Soar high above on wings of eagles. Screwed up my practical. So much for being confident. Guess everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. It's all a matter of time. Yup, well, guess feeling empty helps. The resonating pain is consumed by all the emptiness. Hollow. Yup, that's me.

Don't wanna lock me up inside.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Screw the world.

2008-10-11T21:58:00.005+08:00

Damn you people. All of you!

Salutations. I thought I could handle this. Apparently, I can't. Why does all this happen at times when you need peace and serenity??? Screw the world.

I need to talk to someone now. But nobody seems to care. How do I know? Because no bloody person is replying me or picking up my call. Bobby isnt. Abigail is enjoying herself. And these are just examples. AAAHH. Now, when I need you, you make yourselves unavailable. GOSH. Grace, I am 16. I can make my own decisions. Freedom?Liberation? Ever heard of it? It comes of age. I am soooooo damn effing sick of her controlling me. So what, if Esther doesn't go? I can go if I want to. It's Gopi's birthday for God's sake. I care more about him then YOU people ever will.

You know what. Sick of you telling me that I am no good. That I should be like Esther. That I'm worthless. Useless. I am what I am. You love her sooooo much, adopt her why dont you? I'm sure you guys will love her in the family. Since you have made my imperfections a big deal in your eyes. Not skinny enough as you said. Not smart enough. Not hardworking enough. Not pleasant enough. Well, take her if you want. I'll go make myself useful somewhere else. Fight for myself, by myself. Hope you're happy now Caleb. Your idea of a perfect little sister exists in her. And Grace, she will listen to you, don't worry about that.

To my friends. Of all the times you guys choose to argue and hold grudges against each other, you choose now. WHY?!! Now, we need each other. We are not gonna see each other anymore. We are done with EV. Instead of treasuring these moments, you choose to make rude remarks and hold unforgiveness against each other? Isn't it Hari Raya...maaf zahir dan batin? What happened to all that. Let me just say, true friendships can't be distraught over such issues. It holds through the storms of life. So, hope you get an attitude check and realise that there is more to life than this nonsense.

I miss Zhaf. Soooooo very much. So glad he's coming for Raya. He means alot to me. And I just can't let him go. Love of a big sister I guess. Even then, some people seem to think they are incharge and make decisions for all of us. Well, get a reality check before you end up forming your own clique and forget us people who were there for you.

Why does shit have to happen??? I wanna be strong and mature, and fight. But, I'm breaking down, piece by piece. Is no one here for me? I need someone. I want my Gopi back. I want his love again.I want everything to be right again. The world to be good again. For love and peace to reign. Guess wishful thinking isn't going to help. Someone. Is anyone out there? Please.

I'm going under. I'm falling forever. I've got to break through.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

The Woman Who can't be moved

2008-09-29T15:27:00.003+08:00

I can't be moved. Planted firmly on my Solid Rock.

Salutations. I do not feel like blogging now, yet here I am. It has been a fruitful weekend, of that I am sure. Spent Friday at home, studying the night away, with the help of my beloved brother Caleb. Oh, God bless his soul. Despite many a project due, damn those universities, he still helped me out. And for that I am truly grateful. We even made a mark to finish a certain topic by 10pm, to watch the F1 practice rounds. But we got so caught up, that we missed the first 15 mins. Oh ppfft. That sucked. But, we thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. Oh, Hamilton shall be cast to an eternal damnation of CUTE. Huge F1 Fan Family. Sorry.

Then come Saturday, went for tuition in the morning as usual. Also managed to beg my dad to let me go for our guys' final soccer match. Against MSC. We played damn good. Kavi and Gopi, tag team of the year. Isa and Shankar, our final scorers. Anyhoo, I was supposed to make my way home after the match, but the thrill of F1 got to me. So, I managed to convince my dad to let me go for the F1. Wooooohooo.

In the car was Joanna, Ben, Myself, Grace, Joshua, Kavi and Gopi. One thing led to another and before you know it, we were arguing about global warming. As usual. Finally, we were close enough to hear those revving engines. We rolled down the windows and took in all that sound of burning rubber. So, we bought dinner first, at BK, then made our way up. All to watch the F1 qualifying race from a great view, right in front of the track. We could see alot from my dad's office. WOOHOO. What an experience. The sound was just thrilling baby!!! Then, unfortunately, we had to leave when it was over. Last time I saw Kavi. I miss him already. He was sooo much fun to talk to. We love to poke fun at Gopi. Haha.

Can't wait for F1 next year. Hopefully, we could actually get tickets next time. Haha. But the actual night race was so indescribable. Poor Massa. Seriously, not his fault. But Alonso deserved it too. But at least I got to see Hamilton pop the champagne. Oh. What a weekend! Oh well.
Auf wiedersehen.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

What about now?

2008-09-23T22:42:00.006+08:00

How time flies. Geez.

Salutations. It is Day 2 of the week. Somehow, my dates are all mixed up. It could be due to the fact that I haven't been attending school for the past few days. As long as I'm voraciously studying the night away, I fear not. Kudos to me. The weekend went well. Winning Eleven in church as usual. I love trashing guys at what their best at. It's absolutely gratifying. Was looking forward to seeing Kavi that Sunday, but the match was cancelled. Oh ppfft. Next weekend I guess.

Sunday was a blast in church as usual. Had a Music Team meeting after service. Then Joanna dropped a bomb on me. I am going to be worship leading on Saturday's. Woe is me. Me and my uncanny lack of proper response to such situations, just stared at her, mouth agape. Well, on the bright side, I managed to watch the Man U vs Chelsea match. And it was an unprecented reward for all my hard labour earlier that day. Thanks to the cameraman, oh God bless his soul, we all managed to view Ronaldo taking off his shirt. I swear, my heart stopped beating for that moment, and I almost fell off the chair. Oh Lordy Lord.

And after all that drama, I still have no idea why Ferdinand walked off the pitch. If there is any kind-hearted soul out there who is willing to enlighten me on these issues, unbeknownst to me, please do inform me. Much appreciation. Basically, that is what is happening in my humdrum of a life. Studying. Winning Eleven. Church. Gossip Girl. Haha. How do I resist Gossip Girl. So dangerously scandalous. Ooooooo.

Well, tomorrow I shall return to school. I have been receiving complaints about people missing me. I suppose it is unfair to deprive them of all my greatness. Haha. Joking. I am a magnanimous person. Truly, I am. Oh yes, hope you netizens have tried the Tandoori Chicken sandwich at Subway. Simply delectable. We went there for lunch after church. Thanks to Ben, we began an exodus to a new land. Haha. We had a consensus to boycott Tasvee, after the lack of good service. Oh well, all the better to eat Subway.

" Hear ye, hear ye. A new consensus has been proclaimed. King Benjamin Lourdes has declared that all ye fair maidens and ye merrymen are to gather at Ye Ole Subway, at half past 2. We are to feast upon bread and partaketh of wine. After which, we are to congregate at the town square for a merriment. " Order given hereby, self-proclaimed Lord of the Youths, King Benjamin Lourdes.

Ok, so I am exaggerating. So, sue me. I bid you adieu.

Anne of Green Gables.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Going in circles

2008-09-19T11:42:00.004+08:00

Oh bother. Oh me, oh dear, oh my.

Salutations. It's me again. Yes, here to blog about my week. Nothing to write about honestly. I did not go to school this past week, excluding Monday. I have decided to study at home. It works for me. But I do miss my friends terribly. I do only have these last few moments to revere. However, my reverence is not compelling enough to instigate in me the worth of a trip to school. Oh ppfft. My veneration was not deserving anyway, ignoble as they are.

Anyhoo, I like how things are going with him and I. I am truly enjoying the route this friendship has taken. He has truly surprised me. I admit, I was a wee bit stereotypical in the beginning. But he seems to have begun an exodus. Kudos to him. An attraction worth receiving adulation for. Now there is someone worth their weight in gold.

So, I have been studying. And my dearest acquaintance, the radio, has been keeping me company. My Muttonz and their idiosyncrasies. Haha. Burning the midnight oil, radio and I have acquired a new phase in our relationship. Haha. What would I do without it?? Something smells delectable. Ooooooo, lunch is ready. Well people, mother dearest has prepared lunch. And I would very much love to partake of it now. So, auf wiedersehen!

My first teenage love affair.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

A little bit longer.

2008-09-15T18:44:00.003+08:00

I'll fallen so deep, I can't even get myself out.

Salutations. I have once again come to post about a quagmire of teenage issues. From here on, life seems to have chosen its course, downhill that is. Sure, it has a few humps that propel me higher, but downhill nonetheless. Typical dilemmas that a 16 year old would face. But that's life, I suppose we grow from that.

Aida told me this morning that I'm her inspiration. How touching. At first I thought that she was overdoing it, no offence. But then I realised that the sudden use of profound English implies a certain amount of premeditation. And so, my hypothesis was confirmed. Nice to know that I can help make the world a better place, one English word at a time. It had better pay off.

Anyway, 3 guys, a girl, and a pizza place. That's all Im saying. For now. The rest, well, let's leave it up to God to decide. Watching The Fast and The Furious now, reminds me of my go-karting days. I miss the thrill. The adrenaline rush. Woah.Nostalgia. I want to be free. Free to drive. To feel the need. The NEED FOR SPEED. Haha.

To tell you the truth, I can very much easily go on incessantly ranting about my shithole of a life. But I shall save you the torture. Yes, how very magnanimous of me. Haha. Okay, I shall stop. Self praise is an international disgrace. Well, made a new friend. Kavi. A nice guy. Too bad I lost to him at Winning Eleven. If not it might have been a beautiful friendship. Haha. Joking. Alright then, ciao people. Back to burying my face in a pile of papers. They should ban homework, save the trees.

P.S. Congrats to Mrs Audrey Chua, for the birth of the daughter, Joy.

A little bit longer. And I'll be fine.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Post present times

2008-09-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

Did it have to end this way??

Hey people. Its been a long time. I bet you're sick of seeing those lyrics, Malaysia's national anthem. Hehe. Anyway, today, I got my testimonial from Miss Suhaila. She wrote about my proficiency in English. However, that reminded me of my prelim results for English. Tsk tsk. So very disappointed in myself. I got B4. No need for numbers, for that will only bring more sadness to this whole shitty predicament. You can imagine the wave of shock that washed over me when I added up those dreaded numbers. I was truly confident. Guess, you can never tell. :(

So, I have made a promise to myself. I am going to use proper English from now on. I have to. To get it into my thick head. I know I can do it. English is me. So, you people out there, please lend a friend a hand. Help me out here!! Much thanks.

So far, prelim results received aren't so good. I failed Chem, not badly, but a fail nonetheless. But I pass Physics, so I passed Combined Science altogether. C6. Yeah, sad. This sucks. Seriously. I have 40 days left to O's. MAMMA MIA! Time flies. Damn fast.

Alright, well. That's life. Hope the rest of the results are good. And Kishen, Edward Cullen does not suck. Jacob Black sucks. Alright, now Im done. Goodbye beloved ones! Kudos to all who have done presumably well for prelims. Ciao!! I havent talked to Zhaf. I miss him. :(

Waiting for your call, I'm sick.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Negaraku

2008-08-31T20:32:00.003+08:00

Happy National Day to Malaysia!

I'm so excited. It's National Day in Malaysia. Negaraku. So, I decided to put the National Anthem on my blog. Hehe..couldnt resist.

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku.

Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju.

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan.

Raja kita, Selamat Bertakhta.

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan.

Raja kita, Selamat Bertakhta.

I'm so proud of her. My country. I missed the parade in the morning. Damn!

Anyway, today in church, we played PS3. We played yesterday too. Winning Eleven as usual. I scored one yesterday. Today, we played Tag Team. Winners stay. So Bobby and I teamed up. Then J.I and Deeps trashed us. So we got kicked out. Then JJ and Gopi took over us. They got kicked out too. I was then, so determined to make them lose. J.I and Deeps I mean. So, Bob and I took Man U for some motivation. And then, guess wat. I SCORED BABY!! TWO BEAUTIFUL GOALS!! Rooney and Scholes. And with that, we won. And we trashed Deeps and J.I. I felt so happy. To put them in their place. Haha. Ha.

Okay. So people are loving my hair. Its sooo short I cant tie it. I feel so weird. Gopi said I looked like Rihanna. Esther said I looked cute. Everyone else said I looked nice. :) So, I'm glad to hear that. Oh ya, before Winning, we watched An Inconvenient Truth. Ben is still a skeptic. When will he ever realise global warming is a real threat, not so much of exaggeration anymore. Tsk tsk.

Anyhoo, thats all folks. Ciao! And Selamat Hari Kebangsaan!

We're gonna breakout. Let the party start.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.

=DeBbIe=

Break free

2008-08-29T21:08:00.004+08:00

Prelims are over. Bring on the O's.

Hello people. I have changed my blogskin. Hope you like it. I love it. So, sorry if your links are missing. Tagboard will be up soon too. The song playing. Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace. Love this song.Anyhoo, prelims are finally over. I am relieved. De-burdenized. Thank God there is a one week holiday. I can take a break. Which, to put in layman's terms, I STILL HAVE TO STUDY. Yeap. There's no escaping it.

Okay, today we celebrated Teachers' Day! Gerek ke ape!! It was so much fun. Somehow, with this being our last year at East View and all, every celebration we've had is so much fun. It's been so much more splendid spending time celebrating with fellow East Viewans. The cake was delectable. Hope Miss Suhaila loved the video and the presents. She's one of the coolest teachers at EV. Sad that she won't be there to share the joy and the pain of O Level results. Utterly devastating.

Before personal class time, we had ACES Day workout. Bring on the Muay Thai. Gimme some hot Angmoh instructors with sexy Thai shorts and , and I'm ready to box the life out of ya. It was so fun! Then the performance in the hall was great. Clarence, awesome voice. Great rendition of Jason Mraz. Farid and Dalilah, cute as usual, No Air. Then, these 2 Sec 1 dudes did hiphop. WOW. The Step-up 2 kind. Awesome. You could hear our jaws hit the floor. Gerek giler!

Then, met Zhaf. He was sad bout his results. We tried to encourage him, hope it helped. Followed him to buy a drink, then went for the after-party at 402. Damn fun!! Dancing! Demas like clubbing. Sanjay doing bhangra. Fit and Akid doing gay dance. Haha. So funny! To top it all off, Mirul, hot dancing! WOOOHOO!! Experienced perhaps? Then went home. Went to sleep. Woke up. Went to salon to cut hair. Short.

So, now I'm sitting here. Tomorrow is another day. Subway lunch appointment. Let's take one step at a time. Oh ya, Nury, I shall be magnanimous, and make the first move. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I can see that you don't wanna talk to me, I get it. But I don't wanna leave EV without tying up loose ends. So, when you're ready to forgive me, lemme noe. I'll be around.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Betrayal

2008-08-21T17:42:00.004+08:00

Prelims suck. Let's start a revolution.

Friends suck sometimes. I don't really feel like talking. So I'll let my poems do the talking.

Diminishing Time

As the light of time is dawned by the moon's shadow,
so his love for me diminishes.
Though the years of glances and feelings have passed,
beckones the question in me of meaning and sacrifice.
Love proved unfailingly all this while,
but has it undone its trust this time.
My heart shall be awake, watching from a glance.
From the eyes that bring joy and sadness in a flash.
Cold and dark as it may be from the outside,
time shall tick away the hours, 'til my heart rests
In eternal slumber, with or without his comfort.

Sibiling Love

I watched over you, just like I promised I would.
I walked next to you, just like a shadow would.
I gave you a beloved gift, just like a close friend would.
I gave you a kiss on the forehead, just like a mother would.
I reached out to you in my need, just like a broken heart would.
I put up with all your rejection, just like a loving heart would.
I cared for you more than anyone else, just like I knew I would.
I love you and always will, just like a big sister should.

Betrayal of Friends

I thought I could count on you, but you let me falter.
Out in the murky depth, those deep waters.
I reached for you, begging for your hand.
But you walked away and watched me reach the end.
I thought you would wait for me, like good friends would.
But I painstakingly searched, until no longer I could.
You stabbed me and left me to bleed dry.
Bleeding my tears out, you didn't even ask why.
I'm always the last,to know everything you do.
But I'm so used to it, it's nothing new.
I thought friends were something special and true.
But all these lies and betrayals, its expected of you.
Friends do turn their backs on you, and leave you behind.
But they will receive what they give, all in due time.

That's all for now. Bye people. Ciao!

Watch out, you might just go under. Better think twice. Disturbia.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Moving on....??

2008-08-15T22:23:00.011+08:00

Shit. Prelims. Here. Now.

Here we go again.Same old shit again. He tells me I'm the only one who shows him love and always cared for him. And then he is close to me.The bond becomes so much stronger. And I'm much happier again, basking in the glow of it all, before it slips away. AGAIN. I hope each time that this sad ending will never happen again, but alas, my hope runs void. It happened again. He acts like I'm just some Sec 4 girl he knows. Not a sister. Not a treasured friend. Barely talking to me when I make the effort. So why do I bother? I just sit in the corner and hope he talks to me. But nope. Nisa gets his attention, Aida too and Nury. Me, just a hi. As usual, I'm sulking and missing him more than ever. And then, after a looooooooooooooong while, he repeats his act of thankfulness and etc. And..well.You know. Why do I bother? Cause I love him dearly, my little Sec 3 wonder boy.My lil' Chris Brown. Hope you know who you are. Please don't hurt me like this. If you're just gonna do it again and again, please spare me the heartache.

So, went to library today.Study with Mirul. Then Jay joined us. Thank God for Mirul. His maths is POWER yaw!! Haha. Then ikut Jay to buy food from S-11. Then Jay and I take 21 back while Mirul take MRT. I skipped the conversations in between.DUH. So, EMPOWERED concert tomorrow. I'm singing. Then back to more studying. Oh ya, got my O Level MT results. I got a bloody C6. Cried my lil'eyes out. But at least I pass. But I'm still retaking. I ain't satisfied.

Gosh I miss Edward. Haha. I miss Bobby. I miss Malaysia. Found out tt Jay is half-Malaysian. Haha. I'm not alone. Weeeee!! Oh well. So, other than that. Nothing much to post about. Oh ya one more thing. About him. Not the him I talked about earlier, but the him I talked about in my last post. Well, his eyes still captivate me. So deep, I could drown in them. And yet,I feel like I'm home. Right there with him. His smile. Gosh. But I guess love means to sacrifice. And I'm sacrifing my confession to be by his side without him feeling awkward. Haiz.

Here are photos from the memorial service I went for in Malaysia for my late grand-aunty.

My grandparents, great grandparents, and great-great grandparents. Woah.

My dad, his parents and aunts and uncles.

Grace,Me, Slvina, Caleb and Joshua with her( late Aunty Orange)

Thats her. :(

The cross at her grave.

Beautiful.

Mourning.

Break me down. Bury me. Bury me. I am finished with you.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.

=DeBbIe=

An Inconvenient truth

2008-08-07T19:54:00.004+08:00

Put me out of my effing misery.

News delivered. Straight to you gal. You wanna attract attention?!! Go search for people who actually care! Your pathetic attempts at grovelling for attention are utterly disgusting. With the loud songs blasting when you're walking around like an effing MINAH. Wateva. Then fake "illnesses" and then you're okay after a while. SOOO merepek. I HATE and DESPISE people like her. Attention Seeking Disorder. Don't you have dignity or are you soooooo desperate for people to look at you that you don't care? Seriously, get a life. Rolling eyes now. Act cute bitch! AAAAHHH!!

Okay. On to other matters. I'm halfway done with Breaking Dawn, which is the final installment of the Twilight saga. I don't want it to end. But all good things must come to an end. Even someone so perfect,gorgeous and glorious as Edward Cullen. Sad much.

Someone reach out to me. I know you're out there. Somewhere out there. I can't take this pain anymore. The one person you love, and your best friend is taking him away. I have no choice but to fake this smile on my face. I even joke about it, when it's tearing me up inside. Those eyes. Might as well drag me across a bed of nails and leave me on the floor to bleed myself dry. Is anybody out there listening? Zhafri, I need you. My dear adik, I need you now, so much.

Guess I have to face this on my own. He can never know. It would just ruin everything. All that I have worked to achieve in our friendship. Our closeness. I don't wanna ruin it. Guess I have to be the third wheel again. The one left behind. Left out. Left alone. What can I do anyway? All these are just inconvenient truths. I only have one hope. The hope of the cross.

Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.

=DeBbIe=

Bitter love

2008-08-03T18:40:00.004+08:00

Ouch. It hurts. Bad.

Prelims. Damn. Soon. Devil can't bring me down. They say the devil wears Prada. Well, I own Prada. Beat that! Okay,verging on lameness now.

Finally gonna read the last installment of the Twilight saga. Breaking Dawn. Let's just pray and hope that Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan have their Happily Ever After. Cause I don't think Stephenie Meyer wants a mob of angry "Cullenists" chasing after her with their pitchforks. Haha. On to more, my mum is doing better, though still in Changi. Thanks for your regards. The meds work. Praise God. I know God will carry us all through. The amount of housework, GOSH!. Who knew.

Went for FOP, Festival of Praise, yesterday at Indoor Stadium, as usual. Met Cyril there as usual. This year was good too, Parachute Band and Reuben Morgan. Awesome worship! Can't wait for next year. I miss WinningEleven. AHHH!! Three weeks. I miss Bobby too! So much!

Anyway, thanks Mirul and Lock for dinner on Friday. They blanja me. So sweet! I love you both! We went to study at Tamp Lib. Then go makan. I wasn't feeling well, so Mirul sent me to the bustop and bought me Panadol and water. I love you Mirul! Thanks. And Lock's hair. WOW. I still love it! Haha. He very shy to talk to me after I told him he looks hot. Haha. Zhaf, I miss you alot too. Everyday. I miss your heartwarming smile. I love you! Alright, I have to study. Now. Ciao peeps!

I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you. I keep bleeding love.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.

=DeBbIe=

No place like home

2008-07-28T22:25:00.002+08:00

There certainly is no place like home.

I'm back from Malaysia. We drove straight up to Klang. I had an awesome time reuniting with my family. I miss them so much. I'll try to get the pics up. Have to "import" them from Malaysia. Haha. We went to visit Aunty Orange's grave. Had a minute of silence and a prayer. Then we headed back home, to get ready the house for the memorial service. I really miss her alot. But I know, she's up there with God. So, the memorial service went well. The menu was specially chosen by her, before she passed away. She told us how she wanted the service to be. So, in remembrance of her, we did it according to her wishes.

So, we spent alot of time together. The whole family. I got to see a picture of my grandparents, my great-grandparents and my great,great-grandparents. Haha. Familia. We also managed to get KFC. WEEEE!! Malaysia's KFC is da best. DUH! Also, after years, I ate my beloved Kaya Balls. Since I was little, I used to eat them. Only found in Jusco. Reunited again. We stopped by Bangi on the way, to visit Unc. Roland and family. We reached Singapore at about 4am. So I didn't go to school today.

I really wish we didn't have to come back. But we don't exactly have a choice. I wanna stay in Malaysia. With my family. My country. My home. I could so easily leave this life behind. I'm going back after O Levels. For as long as I can. I would have forced my dad to let me stay. Really. But someone I thought of made me come home. I missed him too much. I thought about everyone else, but they didn't matter. He, made me come home. Zhafri. I missed him so much. I wanted to come home and see his face. My beloved adik. Okay thats all. Oh ya, and my life is still a shithole. Crumbling down around me. Piece by piece.

Stay with me. Don't let me go. I can't be without you.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Vindicated

2008-07-22T18:53:00.002+08:00

Home sweet home. Malaysia here I come.

For once, I wish time wouldn't pass so fast. I'll only be in Malaysia for about 2 days. So, I have to absorb the sweet smelling beauty of that which surrounds me in the lack of the suffice of time that I have. God, be gracious. Blood is thicker than water.

I wish the hands of the clock - which so gracefully tick away a second of my life, quicker than I expect it to - would slow down. The pressure of Prelims and O's, gosh, who knew life would require this much at only 16. Sure, we feel gratified when it comes to material things, feeling the need to be ostentatious. But when academics are involved, we slowly shy away.

I feel alone. I feel I don't belong where I am. In school, with the people around me. Im not with who Im supposed to be. That's what saddens me now. AHHHHH. Im going bonkers. There is this gaping hole in my heart, void. I am waiting, for something, or someone to fill it. The people around me, every place I go, don't seem to piece this puzzle together. God, save me. From this misery. Only You know how pathetic I am. Stuck in desolation!

All hope that I have, rests in Edward Cullen. I am waiting on the 3rd book, Eclipse. He gives me hope, with all that he does for Bella. Pfft. Life is effing bad now. Get me out of this bloody shithole. No one, except God, knows my pain. Friends?? Yeah, sure. Friends??!! Somehow this word, has a double meaning. Go figure.

Amirul, I need you. Please, make me smile. Amirul, where are you when I need you and your comforting hugs. You were always there for me. Now, I hardly see you. Zhaf, where are you when I need you to wipe my tears again. Haix. Like I said, shithole. Oh FCUK!!

I am vincated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Down the road to recovery

2008-07-16T19:41:00.002+08:00

Twilight's coming out soon. Cannot wait. Seriously.

Hey people. I bring you good news. My mum is out of hospital, and doing better than ever. She is back to doing her normal routines. Im so glad. The operation didn't take long and wasn't as torturous as I imagined. Knowing myself, I know I exaggerate things, when it comes to issues like these. I miss home-cooked food. Thank God for Mothers!

Anyhoo, I finally finished Twilight. Actually, I finished it a while ago, but couldn't bear to part with it, and managed to sneak in a few more reads of my favourite scenes. Favourite quote: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. What a beautifully painful love story. Vampire and human. Alright, so I'm on to the 2nd book, New Moon. The first few pages and already I'm in pain. I don't wanna spoil the fun for future readers, so that's it from me. I managed to get Nisa and Aida hooked. Hehe. And for those who havent read it, don't worry. You still have time, until December, to read the book, before the movie comes out. God bless Stephenie Meyer for giving us hope for another day, with the perfect image of Edward Cullen etched forever in our hearts and minds.

Guess what, I gotta serve detention for missing Sports Day. Haha. Me, of all people. My dad just told me that The Dark Knight is NC16. Hmm. Gotta find out. Anyway, I can watch. Haha. Don't give a damn. Alright, going to watch more Twilight videos and fall desperately for Edward's crooked smile, again. Yes, again. Ciao people!

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Death and all his friends

2008-07-14T15:17:00.003+08:00

Mummy, please be alright. I can't live without you.

Wow. Yesterday, was a big day. Haha. First of all, it was Paul's bdae. Happy Sweet 16 boii!! Though, since he's a guy, dunnoe if it's still sweet. Anyhoo, I smsed him at 12midnight. And I told him hours before, that I was gonna call him. He replied with a promise to stay awake. Despite his, Im sure, "prevalent" efforts to stick toothpicks between his eyelids for my sake, he fell asleep. Yes, lemme reinforce that, he fell asleep. So, this seems to me, that he much rather sleep than turn 16. So, in church, I screwed him. But, we cut cake for him anyway. Delicious cake I might add. We took pics. We were hoping to play Winning 11, but Bobby didnt bring it to church. He came from army camp.

My parents didnt go to church cause my mum was having heavy bleeding. When I came back home, my mum told me she was going to KK. I was shocked. But, I helped her packed. The stale smell of blood got the better of me, and I almost fainted twice. Then, after they left. I fainted. I fell on the floor in the hall. My little brother panicked( according to him), and tried calling people on my hand phone, but to no avail. He doesnt know how to use it. To make matters worse, my house phone isnt working.

So, luckily, my church friend called my phone, and Vic picked up. He told them I was on the floor and not moving. Blablabla. I woke up in a daze, and he passed me the phone. Esther, on the other line, told me that my church member staying nearby was coming over. She came, and took good care of me until my older brother came home. All the while, I was feeling dizzy, so I lay on the couch. Wow, my first, and hopefully last, fainting spell. I think the whole church knows I fainted cos calls were going around like mad to see if I was ok. Haha. What a day!

So, my mum's in KK now. They are gonna do a DNC. And then, probably, she'll be back tomorrow. I hope. I did my crying yesterday. So, today Im fine. Didnt go to school. Someone has to take care of Victor. Seeesh!! You may, or may not, ask why bad things are befalling me at such a time?? Who knows. Devil is trying to bring me down. But I aint going nowhere. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

One more thing, I am officially,head over heels, desperately, unconditionally, irrevocably, more than in love with Edward Cullen, the vampire who doesn't exist expect only in my head and in my heart. Bella who??? Edward is mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella and Edward

And so, the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Kidnapped my heart

2008-07-09T16:08:00.001+08:00

Im so in love with Edward Cullen. Truly, madly, deeply.

Hey people. Im falling in love with so many people right now. Haha. Okay, I admit, I hated the Click Five all this while. Well, on Monday, was waiting to go to church. So I watched the movie, Taking 5, which is like this teenage movie about the Click Five. And I fell so deep I can't come out. Haha. They honestly kidnapped my heart, like their song says. The ex-lead singer, Ritchie, is freaking gorgeous. So hot! Why did they change him?? AHH.

Alright. So Nithya was like reading this book, that the gals in my class have fallen for, only because of the lead male character, who is a vampire, and an object of their desire. Despite him being fictitious and all. Niways, during A Maths, I picked up the book and started reading. And now, WWWOOOOWWWWW. Im hooked!!! Im so in love with Edward Cullen, the non-existant vampire. This is the beauty of books. Your imagination just runs wild. And now, they are making a movie based on the book. Haha. WEEEE!! Ms Suhaila probably thinks we are nitwits. But who cares, time to step into the Twilight Zone.

But despite all these people I "love", I can obviously never even be with them. That's why God gave us our other half. Well, I know I'll always love him. He knows who he is. So, yeah, thats about it. I cant wait to go back home to Malaysia. Never wanna come back. But I have to. Stupid O's. Guess that's life. Can't wait to play Winning Eleven. AHH!! Im addicted to that to. Oh ya, Ronaldo's surgery went smoothly. Hallelujah! My darling's okay. Hehe.

Kidnap my heart. Take me with you.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Road to recovery.

2008-07-06T21:55:00.002+08:00

Going home to Malaysia soon. Counting down.

Hey people. Haven't posted in a while. Last post about my grandaunt's death, got me thinking. That's the thing about death, you dont realise what you have til its gone. Anyway, we are all doing better. Cant change what happened, so we accept it. Okay, on to other news.

Just came back from overnighting at Underwater World with my class, 405. Some people from 404 too. It was a reward from Miss Ang for meeting the criteria for Bio Mid Year. It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun! We slept beneath the school of fishes and other marine life swimming around. It was a spectacular sight, forever etched in my memory. Had lots of fun with Marlon, Arran and Dom. And the rest of course. I learnt so much about marine life. It's extremely sad to see how bad these creatures are treated. We had to take a stand now. They cant speak for themselves, so we have to speak for them. Save the animals!

Anyway, I have finally completed one of my many life goals. To meet a dolphin. We got to touch the Pink Dolphins at Sentosa. They are intelligent creatures, graced with splendour and opulence, that no one can ever fathom. It was then, I realised my passion for animals, dolphins specifically. I really wanna work with these awesome beauties. Honestly. And my passion for English and Mass Com, can help me spread awareness about conservation of these dolphins. YAY ME!!!

Alrite. So. I miss Zhaf. He's been ignoring me lately. Like I dont mean anything to him. He didnt even bother to talk. Only a hi. Im sorry if I did something wrong. I really miss him. Before councillor camp, we got along great. I dont noe what happened. Im losing my friends too. Wasnt invited for outings with them. Hurt badly. They made appointments on days they know Im not free. Hmmm. Wateva. Parents lecturing me bout school and Prelims. AHH!! Life sucks. Crappy effing shit going on.

And thanks BOBBY BOO for teaching me how to play Winning Eleven. Im a pro now!! Seriously! Any challengers?? Haha. Okay. That's about it. Gotta go now. Ciao people! Live life!

To you its a ball. To me, its how I feel alive. Pass.Cross.Dribble.Score.Victory.

Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Life is fragile.

2008-06-29T21:44:00.002+08:00

I will miss you dearly. You'll always be in my heart.

I was so excited to post my pictures. Until yesterday. I'm sorry, you'll have to wait. I received news from my Dad last night that he and Mum were gonna drive up to Malaysia to visit my grandaunt who was in a bad condition. I didn't think much of it because she had come out of it so many times. I wanted to go too, but had commitments in church and school. Halfway, on the Causeway, my Dad calls Grace( my sis), to inform her about some grave news. Grace came to me and told me. My grandaunt passed away last night. :(

I cried and cried. And Im still crying as I type this. She was close to all of us. This is when I regret coming to Spore. Cant even go for the funeral. Effing Oral! Stupid O'Level! Eff this world! Malaysia is my home, and where all my family members live. We live so far away and when these things happen, we cant be there. DAMN! AAAAHHH!!! But I thank God, because she accepted the Lord last year. So I know that she is up there with Him. God, please take care of her.

I miss her so much. We nicknamed her 'Aunty Orange' because she used to peel oranges for us and feed us when we were young. Joshua ( my bro) was the closest to her. He's sad he cant go too, being in Australia and all. Sorry if this week I'm a bit emo or spaced out. Please understand. If only I could have said goodbye. Hugged her one last time. Got soooooo caught up in Spore life, that we didnt go back for Christmas. I regret it all now!

S'pore took up my time and my life. And now, who I really am, a Malaysian, is being robbed from within me. Please my friends, learn from this. Life is too fragile and short to get caught up in work and friends, that you forget your Family. Be it Father, Mother, Sibilings or Relatives. Make time. Before its too late. I cant even type properly, my eyes are filled up with tears.

I will miss you dearly Aunty Orange. I love you very much. I know God is looking after you for us.We will be reunited. One big happy family. :(

I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Eagles Rendezvous Part 2

2008-06-22T18:39:00.002+08:00

Take me home to Malaysia, anyone please!

Okie.So Day 3, we were supposed to go for the Cable Car, the best attraction there. But it was under maintenance. How shitty, right?! So we did more shopping! Fed rabbits and took pictures with eagles. It was awesome! Then after that, we went for go-karting to cheer us up. I totally kicked ass. Haha. I should become an F1 driver. Ben and Papa broke records of 7 laps. It was great! To cheer up our souls even more, we still had time to go back to the hotel and swim. We raced back to our rooms and changed. I ran back to the pool and made a grand entrance. I came in by the slide. Haha. So ccco-ccoollddd.

In the pool, all of us played Captain's ball. It was really fun! My team lost, but who gives a damn. We had a blast of a time! Myself, Bobby, Gopi, Melanie, Luke, Danny, Josh J, Josh I, Ravi. I think thats all of 'em. Oh well, we played to our heart's desire and got out. The guys kept pushing each other in again and again. Eventually, they stopped. We had to get ready for group rehearsals before our performance night.

We lost some of our props, so we improvised. After the scrumptious BBQ dinner, we all performed. We were really funny, based on feedback from other people, of course. Every group did great, a lot of effort. Kudos to everyone! Overall, after performance plus games, Imperial Eagles came in 1st. We came in 5th. But we all had a great time there. So, at night the gals hung out at the guys's room. Playing cards and watching Euro, though we did almost kena sabo. Dont wanna talk about it.

The next day, we packed up and left. Took a church photo with our church camp T-shirt before we left. Our guides, Fadzly and Siva, were great. We ate Kenny Rogers and KFC on the way home. I truly enjoyed it. Classic tastes only found in Malaysia. Honestly. Played UNO and Stress in the bus. Eventually, we all knocked out. Melanie and Gopi damn funny. Laughed my heart out. So, reached S'pore and took the car home. Didn't wanna return to S'pore to be honest. But cant help it I guess. Ppfftt. So, overall, church camp was awesome!

Malaysia, truly Asia.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Eagles Rendezvous Part 1

2008-06-18T19:44:00.003+08:00

I wanna go back to Malaysia!

Hey everyone. I am back from Langkawi. I had an awesome time there. Filled with fun and discovery. Today I guess Im just gonna post about what happened. When I get all the pics, then I'll put them up.

So, unfortunately, I fell sick the day before we left. But I refused to let it stop me from having fun. So, since we all overnighted, we did our group banner at about 1am to 3am. Then, slept for a while. Got up and realised everyone reached church. Then, we boarded the bus, and left for KL. I knocked out in the bus cos of the medicine. When,I woke up, I felt much better. Then, my relatives came down to the airport. My cuzzin, Slvina, couldnt make it cos she had school. How sad! So, we did our catching up, and boarded the plane. The best thing about AirAsia, is they are sponsors for Man U. They were selling Man U goods onboard. My dad didn't let me buy bcos he said that I should wait for Langkawi.

So, we finally reached, got our rooms, and washed up. Had an awesome dinner( the crabs were power). Then, did shopping. Langkawi had duty-free goods, so very cheap. That was first day. Second day, we went to the mangrove swamps. The boats went soooo fast. Then, fed the eagles. Also, we went out to sea, where we could see Thailand. Also, we went to the bat caves. OMG! So creepy! You can't say anything so that you dont disturb the bats. Also, we saw limestone formations inside. Beautiful! Outside the caves, there was this secret cave where the ruler of Langkawi hid during the Siamese invasion. We climbed up there. It was awesome. I tell you, Langkawi is a must-see. It is spectacularly beautiful.

Then, went swimming. Biggest swimming pool in Langkawi. With two slides. Haha. Power. We all went down together. Then, went to the beach for group games. Haha. Tiring. So hot. So, the youths ran back to the hotel and jumped into the pool. Haha. So fun! That night, I injured my knee. But I still went shopping. SO, I bought my Man U t-shirt there. WEEEEEEEEEE!!! So happy! My dad rubbed ointment for my knee. So it was better. The guys invited me to their room cos I was alone. Gopi, Pat, JJ,Danny,Luke and Paul. Played cards, talk2. Gopi and Paul played guitar while I sang. Then, we went to sleep at 1.30am. That was Day 2. Hmm.

Alrite, Im tired. I'll update Day 3 and 4 another time. So part 2 coming soon. Gonna eat dinner now. Ciao!

Home is where the heart is. Always.

Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Destination: Langkawi

2008-06-13T12:04:00.004+08:00

Wanna fly sky high. Now.

Okie my dearest friends and fellow netizens. Today, I am packing my bags. Staying overnight in church with the rest. Don't know how we are all gonna squeeze, but guess we have to make do. Got planning to do. The GALS are so gonna be triumphant this year. Guys, you're GOING DOWN!

Okie. So leaving Saturday morn 4am. Taking coach down to my hometown, KL. Then taking flight from there to destination: Langkawi. My team, CROWNED HAWK EAGLES, are so gonna kick ass. All the rest can go fly kite! I am thrilled beyond reason that I honestly couldn't sleep last night. So, woke up a few hours ago, and we all talked to Joshua through Skype. :) He's doing fine Down Under. Flew his plane yesterday. It went well. I really miss him. Speaking of Joshua, today, is Nadera's bdae! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR BESTI! SWEET 16! I know you miss Joshua dearly too. It's alrite. haha.

So, will try to take lots of pics from Langkawi. I'll try my best to snatch up some souvenirs for my friends, no promises though. Hehe. Budget a bit ah. I have been mugging my arse off. Well deserved retreat, here I come. Alrite then, I'll be off now. Will try to update from there, though I highly doubt I will have time to do so, being in the holiday mood and whatnot. Bon voyage!

I'm going home. To the place where I belong.

Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Left on a jet plane

2008-06-10T12:25:00.005+08:00

3 more days to Langkawi.

Well. I have lots of things to post about. So, pardon my long post.

Joshua has left the building. My dear brother, flew off to Australia. For 9 effing months. Not for holiday. But for his piloting career. SIA. Yes, he's gonna become a pilot. Well, of course, as expected, I wept. He hugged me and I cried like a baby. Im gonna miss him dearly! Church gang came down, we all prayed for journey mercy and etc. Then waved goodbye. Longest time a family member has been away from me. Counting down.

On to other matters, Councillor Camp. Finally. It was awesome. Thursday night Campfire was damn fun. Waited for Mirul, who went to exchange his Tshirt. Brown? Grey? Hmm. Go figure.

Met Demas, Lock and Jay at canteen. They played PSP. I went to converse with Nisa, Nury, Fadz and Zhaf. During campfire, we danced the night away. Guys vs Gals. Then brought out the cake for Mrs Moraes' farewell.

The plan was, Sanjay supposed to lead us in bhangra. We did manage some CHORI CHORI, but the plan cocked up. Jay and I really wanted to bhangra. Wasted opportunity. So, cake cutting together with Demas' bdae celebrations. Then, makan time. Cake was scrumptious. After enjoying, Mirul, Demas and Jay sent me to bustop. The rest stayed overnight for the night walk and all.

Next day, woke up early morning and headed down to school. Told ghost stories about the night before. Then, we had water activities. We splashed water all over them. Then played water bomb. I was drenched. Thanks to Zhafri and Lock. We chased Mirul and finally got him. He took his revenge with F&N Orange. Haha. SOOOO FUN! Everyone was soaked. Then we dried off in the sun while waiting for KFC. Met Fit and talk2.

We went to change clothes. Fadz piggy-backed Zhaf. So I piggy-backed Nisa. And Mirul piggy-backed Jay. Haha. Then we raced to our bunk. So fun!! Then after lunch, we played concentration and other games. There was this white bitch. Haha. Intruder. Nobody asked you to KPO. By the way, Jay, whats the square root of 169? Haha. Then went to art room. They busy doing something. We, played with paint. Mirul, muka macam giler, went WILD with paint. So cute. Nisa and I were laughing away. Then we drew tired, and sat down. I slept on Mirul because no more space on chairs and he's comfortable. We all took ALOT of pics with Lock's PSP and the school cam.

Then, had area cleaning. Packed bags. They went home. We all slept on the floor. Played soccer. Then went home. It was so much fun. Glad I went. No one can convince me otherwise. And that, is my account of Councillor Camp. I did skip a few details, but perhaps that's better left between us. For those who were not there. Sorry. Go find another blog which gives details. :) Here's two of the many pics.

Drying off in the sun

Nisa,Demas,Mirul,Deb, Zhaf(lying down)

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.

=DeBbIe=

Shortest of them all.

2008-06-06T20:55:00.002+08:00

Craving sleep.

Just came back from Councillor Camp 3 hrs ago. I'm so dead tired. Had toooooo much fun and laughter. Now my body is craving sleep. Good job to all the Sec 3 facilitators. Kudos to you all!! Fadz and Seena led them well. I wanna tell you guys all about it. But Im really tired. I can only post this pathetic information.

I had so much fun with Mirul. Haha. :) Took photos banyak2. Ahh.. cant talk. SLEEP. SLEEP.
AHHHHH. Tomorrow got bowling. Im gonna miss Hannah Montana. :(
Then Sunday got church and rugby. AHHHHH.

Will post about camp and upload photos when I have recovered.

Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Caught up in life

2008-06-05T16:05:00.003+08:00

I want a laptop.Real bad.

Today is supposed to be jam packed with loads of activites. However, my circumstances have chosen to prove themselves otherwise. Today, im supposed to be bossing around Sec 1s and helping out at the Student Councillor camp. That, my friends, is spelt F-U-N. However, told Nisha I would go for tuition. So, didnt wanna postpone AGAIN. I went. So now, instead of making my way down to school, I'm sitting here updating you people. To make things even worse for me and more fun for you, I have a group meeting for Church Camp. We are supposed to act out our drama today. But Im not going.

Now, everyone's telling me that I shouldnt go for SC Camp. They think its unimportant and a bloody waste of time. They tell me, go for group meeting. Well, lemme tell you something people. In the famous words of Britney Spears, and I quote, that is my prerogative. I wanna go for camp, I go. You don't decide for me. I decide for myself. If I wanted your opinion, I would actually ask for it. So you can take your opinions and shove it! Cos I dun give a damn!

So, waiting to meet Mirul and gang. Nisa and Nury already went in the morning. So, waiting here until they finish their exhilarating celebrations regarding Demas' birthday. Yup. I guess God allows these things to happen, to let us learn and grow.

Alrite, so. Coaching is over. Can't wait for Langkawi. There are a few deep issues on my mind. But I dont think Im gonna post about it just yet. Nope, not yet. Maybe she'll change. Who knows. But then again, she's her. Has always been her since Sec 1. Will always be her. Maybe I should change. Well, honestly. Only God knows. Only God can judge me.

I don't need permission. Make my own decisions. That's my prerogative.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Viva La Soccer!

2008-06-01T22:36:00.005+08:00

Really wanna get a tattoo. Really.

Today, was out the whole day. Sundays as usual. Busy busy me. Woke up late for music practice. So was blamed. Yes, I. The agony of being the pitiful 16yearold. So church went well. As usual, the team said I couldnt be heard when I did back up today. I WAS SINGING FREAKING LOUD OKIE. Try doing the parts and you'll understand my unfortunate predicament. Also, got our church camp T-shirts. Damn nice. And had group meeting. What would they do without me, Secretary of the Year.

Then, had a quick bite for lunch. Gluttony is a sin, yeah I know. Recited too many a time. Ran back to church to go for soccer match. Against Bethesda Frankel. The best of the best. We blazed on the field. Unstoppable despite many good, "chivalrous" attempts on the side of the opponent. All I can say, REFEREE KAYU!

Was utterly drained out from watching the guys running. Haha. One classic quality I noticed among our guys, their camaradarie. Kudos to them! BENitez did a good job with all the prevalent efforts of a timeless manager. Then, went to East Point. Dining at LJS. Ate my fill and Bob dropped us back. God bless him!

Today, I talked to Anand. A dear guy. I promised I would talk to him today. And apparently so, a woman of my word, I am. He's really funny and entertaining. But he got distracted. Haha. Inside joke. Miss talking to him. What a cool dude. Haha. Thanks Anand for the laughs.

So, now, sitting at home, blogging. Tomorrow school is another topic altogether. At least its Humanities. Captivating at last. The humdrum of school life during holidays can really eat at you. Ppfft. Thats life for you. Monotonous when its meant to be. So, nothing else to post about. Hmm.

Looking forward to Wednesday. Last day of coaching. Closer to Church Camp. And I get to see MIRUL!!! And the rest of the dudes!!! WEEEE. So excited. Sanjay, Demas, Lock, JD. Counting down. Lup dup. I can hear it. My heart. Zhaf came back. My dear adik.

Tattoos not forever. But the scar of love marked on your heart, its eternal.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Chivalrous moi

2008-05-29T13:23:00.002+08:00

Wish I found a magical wardrobe that led me into a world unknown.

Watched Prince Caspian yesterday. A day before the actual release. WEEEE. Loved it. So awesome. I am a huge fan of the Narnia collection. The epic battle between good and evil never ceases to amaze me. Well, I wish Aslan had a bigger role. He only appeared in the finale or so.

Tsk tsk. He is infact the epitome of this entire alliegance of proclamating the truth. I just had an epiphany. If you take away a key role, someone who possesses such honour, pride and degree in a film or storyline, wouldnt there be a loophole? Hmm. Hopefully, the third installment makes up for the lack thereof. This is supposed to be an allegory. But, unfortunately, God didn't make much of an appearance in it.

Ok, before I become a movie critic, let me fill you in on other stuff. I've been having migrane for the past 3 days. Took 5 panadols but to no avail. Couldn't go to school today. Pppfft. Oh ya, I got to eat Subway. WEEEEEEEEEEE. I llllooooovvveee Subway. Tre magnifique.

Okie, other than that. Josh, my bro, he is flying off to Australia soon. Not on holiday. For studies. He passed the 2 crucial exams. And guess what, he got the highest score EVER in 13 batches. WOW. God's grace. I'm so proud of him. Can't wait to go Langkawi. My escape.

Alrite. So that's pretty much it. Hmm.. yeap. Tts it. I miss Mirul. And I miss Zhaf. :( Oh well.

For NARNIA!! And for ASLAN!!

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Everybody makes mistakes.

2008-05-26T14:18:00.004+08:00

I want a Thai massage.

Okie. Ppfft. O'Level MT exam is over. The written one that is. Few hours ago. Ppfft. Again. I d-dd-d-ddoo- dont know what to expect. I really need to pull through, to get me my 9 points. I wish there was a way I could avoid O's. But it is, unfortunately, inevitable. Tsk tsk. Treachorous torments through tackling tabulations. Haha. Hmm???

Everything is depending on God now. Lord, my trust is in you. No matter what, let Your will be done. Praying hard. Till then, I still have 5 other subjects to conquer. English being my main battlefield. Mass Com requires a lot out of your hopefully-not-pitiful- vocabulary. AHHH. WHY? Sec 4 life sucks. I think.

Hmm.. well. Zhaf liked the t-shirt. It fits him perfectly. Cant wait to see. Will be going Langkawi soon. To forget this mayhem. My ticket outta here. Weeee... I dont really have anything else to blab on about. So I'll save you the humdrum. Waiter, rain check please?

So. Until and unless something actually ridiculously fascinating occurs in my life, I shall be blogging off. Ta! My fellow good netizens of blogspot.com and other such related webbies.

Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
Cos its d-a-m-a-g-e-d.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Sweet victory.

2008-05-23T19:58:00.002+08:00

I miss Sec 2.

Here goes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHAFRI! HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICTOR!

Well. Today is Zhaf's and Victor's bdae. Isn't that great. My adik and my adik angkat. :)

Can't believe they are all grown up. Haha. Victor had a good day apparently. Free milo and jelly made by mummy. He's smiling. He's soooo happy that everyone remembered his birthday. For Zhaf, well, his mum forget his bdae. That sucks. Poor boy. He looked so down in the dumps today. Im so sad for him, cause I noe what its like to have a sucky birthday.

Just had PTC. My mum came down, and thankfully Ms Suhaila had nothing bad to say. Or should I say Cik Su. Haha. I only failed one sub...combined Science. I passed Malay. This is miraculously good for me. Hmm. I can't wait to give Zhaf his gift. I know he's gonna like it. Standing there with him just now, I realised, I love him more and more each day.

Many people may think that Im overreacting and Im wrong, but I dont give a damn. He's a sweet guy. Amazing friend. Wonderful adik. I may complain at times, but hey, dont all sibilings?
Guess its part and parcel.

June hols. Not really hols at all. Gotta study like hell. No free time. All taken up. My only form of escape, Langkawi. Cannot wait. Not seeing my friends for 1 month, damn tt sucks. I wanna go back to 205. Where we ruled the school and had lots of fun. Kishen, Senthil, Aida, Hadi, Ghaz and the rest of the gang. Miss you Senthil.

Okie, well other than that, half the year is over. Time to start anew. Wow. I just realised. Im 16.

The bond between sibilings is greater than what is shared between friends.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Nobody's Perfect

2008-05-21T19:45:00.002+08:00

Shit. The O's are here.

16 is alot of work. O'Levels. School. Friends. Family. Life. Wow.

Well, My Malay O'Level is in a few days. Im so scared. Deep shit scared! I'm doing my best. By God's grace, I can make it through. Glad to have my friends back.

I seriously need to save money now. Can't eat recess cause Zhaf's present costs a bomb! But it's worth it, for him. I really hope he likes it. I love you Zhaf! And I miss you alot!

So, I shouldnt be blogging. Should be studying. Well, just taking a break. I miss rugby. SO much! It was effing fun. I promise I will work hard Ben annai. I'm sorry if I made you angry. Didn't mean it, you know I love you alot annai.

Hmm..church camp coming soon. Going Langkawi. Back to my Malaysia. Our T-shirt is damn cool. My group is soooooo gonna win. Crowned Hawk Eagles. Rendezvous. Then, in June got the Underwater World thing for Bio. And Councillor Camp. AHHHH... and COACHING.

Can't wait for O's to be over. Can dye my hair, pierce my ears and change my name. Well, maybe not change my name( e folks would flip out)... but dying my hair, nobody's gonna stop me. Wanted to pierce my tongue, but I know that's too extreme for e folks. So, sticking to the ears I guess. Haha. Well, let's get through May 26th first huh. Yeah. One step at a time babe. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.

What about now?

2008-05-16T16:50:00.002+08:00

Feel like going clubbing. Hmm.

American Idol. David vs David. Perfect. David Cook all the way. Never met someone so deserving of being the Idol. Except Chris Daughtry. Congrats.

Next. The day I thought I'd never get through. I got over you.

Then. Results came back. Screwed up big time. Damn effing bad! English, which is my forte, totally gown down the drain. I barely passed. What is happening to me?! I have never done this horrible for English. Argh! Well, good news for Malay. I passed. Hallelujah! I passed Maths too. That's amazing. I passed 4 out of 6 subs. I'm very disappointed. I expected to do very well for Bio. I put in alot of effort. This predicament I am in is utterly horrendous and I hope that I become so shit scared that I scare myself out of it.

Last. My life is falling apart. Yet it builds me up somehow. But only I know how it feels. My heart knows the pain. God, please help me.

The pain is unbearable. Maybe if I close my eyes it'll go away.Maybe.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

To the ShOrty

2008-05-12T13:39:00.005+08:00

Aida. This is for you. After reading your post on your blog.

You say you love me. Then you maki me? You critisize me?

I never said I was mature. You guys said that about me. So, dont think I said it about myself. Well, I never said you stole anyone. Thats between me and Nury. Why I was angry with you was because you just SUDDENLY ignore me. You didnt look at me, never layan me, never wait for me. And I dun even noe why. The day before that, you were like normal. I thought I could rely on you to talk, to break the ice between you and me. But then, you turn on me. And I dun even noe why. What do you expect me to think?

Then, I told this to Nury. I forgive you both. Completely. But Im scared to come back bcos I dun wanna be hurt again. You guys have hurt me before, and I dun want it to happen again. I have nothing against you.

Lastly, frenz. Remember when you had the fight with Fiqah, Amani and Nadia? Me, Nury and Nisa comforted you. You came back to us. When your frenz left you, we were there for you. And we took you in with open arms. Everytime you did something wrong, we forgave you when you said sorry. We accepted you back. We didnt write on our blogs about you and critisize you. Same goes for me with Mirul and gang. You, of all ppl should understand how tt feels. So I dun think I need to say more about tt.

Aida, I may seem like a bitch to you now. Its okay with me. But u say you love me, why are you talkin about me like tt? I have been there for you. I have helped you so many times. And I never compared you guys with them. I just thanked them, its called basic courtesy. Maybe you havent heard of it. You said you dont wanna hurt me, but by sayin all those words, I am hurt!

I still love you guys though. Though the closest ones hurt me, I forgave them.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Love in this club.

2008-05-10T21:29:00.002+08:00

Feel like going clubbing.

Exams are over! Celebrated on Friday. Went out with Mirul, Demas, Lock and of course Sanjay Belani. They had to wait for me cos I had more papers than them. But they waited. Last minute, decided to go Vivo. They were planning to watch What Happens in Vegas. But I wanted to watch Iron Man. So we watched Iron Man first, and they paid for my ticket for the next movie. And blanja me popcorn and nachos and Coke. How sweet. I love these dudes!

The movies were awesome! Iron Man was cool. Vegas was hilarious. Haha. U KNOW WHY!. Then headed home after taking pics in the train. :) Had an awesome day! Then sumone got angry!

Sorry Cyril if you're pissed with me. I'll explain it to you if I can. No need to get irritated k. So ya, thats about it. Monday no school. Hopefully,can go out. But Im broke. Seriously. Zhaf please read my previous post if u havent yet. Thanks. Thanks Mirul for being there for me. Thanks Sanjay for always making me laugh and smile when I was down. Thanks Demas, Lock and Jian Da for sticking with me and being awesome frenz. Thats all.Goodbye.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

How reliable is this post in telling you about the conflict between 3 good frenz?

2008-05-02T19:22:00.008+08:00

Yes. How reliable? Too much SS stuck in my head. Thank God its over. And yes, I did cock up the reliability questions just now. Thanks Mr Farizal.

Well, they both apologised. A normal, sane person would accept this apology. But not me. First of all just the word sorry has meaning. But sometimes said alone, it hardly means a thing. I appreciate the effort to type those 5 letters, but please. After what you put me through, emotionally and physically, I think I deserve at least more.

You may not agree, but Im giving my opinion. And for the other person. If you wanna ignore a person, at least have a reason to be angry with the person in the first place. Not act like close frenz one day, and then the next day, just brush the person off as if his/her name never came across to you in your entire life. Thank God for Nisa for sticking with me all these years.

Who knew secondary school had so much drama? Well. Tts life. And I gotta say thanks to my other group of friends who kept me company today when I had an emotional breakdown. Thanks Mirul for always being there. Thanks Demas, Jian Da, Lock and of course Sanjay. Thanks for the strong shoulders to cry on. Haha.

Last but NOT LEAST, I need to thank Zhafri. He came to me at the right time, and I just broke down in public at the bustop. The concern in his eyes made me cry even more. He wiped my tears, literally, and told me it would be alright. I miss ZHAFRI ALOT! He was there for me and I greatly appreciate that. He will always have a special place in my heart, my beloved Adik. Always. No matter what happens. Forever.

Well, thats all I to say. Can't wait for exams to finish. Oh ya. Happy Birthday Anand!

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Superstar.?!

2008-04-24T22:50:00.002+08:00

Ha. Serves you right for making fun of My Lord, Jesus Christ. If you choose to sing a song that mocks His name, then all I can say is, you asked for it.

Okie, today we PSL's had to go for the Sepak Takraw finals. To cheer for them. Nationals u know. We screamed our lungs out, with no help from the Sec 1s. Gonna lose my voice. So, we won second place anyway. It was a close game. Changkat Changi won.

Had fun arguing with Mirul and Jay. Haha. Miss them already. Reached home and wanted to sleep. So i did. Haha. Then woke up. Now watchin Idol. Then gonna study til 1am. Like i did yesterday. Surprised myself.

So now gotta go study. Goodbye Carly Smithson. Though you had a great voice. Don't mess with God. K, now i honestly gotta go. I don't really have anything else to say. Except.

BILA BILA SIAPA TANAK KALAH?
EAST VIEW!
BILA BILA SIAPA TANAK KALAH?
EAST VIEW!
BILA BILA EH......
BILA BILA SIAPA TANAK KALAH?
EAST VIEW!

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

My moment of pleasure

2008-04-22T22:06:00.002+08:00

R.I.P my beloved Crunch!

There it was. So beautiful. All dark brown and white in the middle. Glistening off the stick which beheld its opulence. I enjoyed my moment with it. But alas, it was not meant to be. In the blink of an eye, it was gone. On the ground, helpless. :(

My ice-cream. My short moment of pleasure with my Crunch icecream. The damn stick broke while I was eating it. And it dropped on the road. I only enjoyed 30 cents worth of it. I'm so depressed. I was looking forward to my icecream. Damn!

Then today, my mum didn't let me go study with Superman and gang. She claimed I would just talk. I wanted to prove her wrong... but I knew I couldn't go. AAAHHH. I'm so depressed I can't study. My life is a big mess. Bloody Physics. Right-hang grip nonsense. All because an apple dropped on someone's head. And it had to be Newton. Damn!

Well, that's pretty much my life in East View. Wasted icecreams and useless studies. Bring me out of my misery. Someone. Anyone. Save me.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Every little thing

2008-04-20T22:45:00.002+08:00

Today: 20th April 2008.

Well..another day. I woke up. Went to church. Enjoyed myself there. Then, went for lunch at TASVEE. Ate my fav Roti John. So stuffed! Then went home..changed.. and met Nisa, Nury and Fit to study. We studied at White Sands Mac.. then went home to watch White Chicks.

That was pretty much my day.I noe, boring. I gotta go sleep now. Tc people.

Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Mood out

2008-04-13T20:33:00.002+08:00

Hey. ( Not really keen on giving a big greeting.)

Ended the week angry with Mirul. But he apologised. So everything's okie. They weren't really doing good after the loss. But its okie.. you guys can do it next time! I believe in you.

Then yesterday, was the Re- Energise concert. WOW. I was doin back-up. Anyway, IT WAS AWESOME. God's presence was so tremendous there. We all had a breakthrough. Thank God for that wonderful experience. Dancing in freedom and singing without caring what people think of me. So liberating. Anyway, after that we had dinner. At Mufiz. But TASVEE is sooooo much better. The damn Roti John burnt my tongue. Idiot. Haha..

Well.. that's about it. I really got nothin much to post about. So I guess .. ya. bye. One more thing, Kishen is damn funny. I noe..Random. Haha. bubye.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Confessions

2008-04-03T20:26:00.002+08:00

Ah damn. I confessed again. It sucks. It was difficult for me. But i had to.

It was killing me on the inside. Niways, had a nice talk on the phone. Miss the times... tot that person forgot about me. Guess I was sooooo wrong. Other than that, today had to do the IPP again. AHAHA. Ghaz volunteered as the dutiful sweeper of 405. Funny. Then Ms Suhaila suggested we all take a photo. So we took photos with different cams. Pose until tired seh.Then I tore it all down. The garbage bags I mean. It was fun while it lasted.

After school, had the PSL make-up thingy. Somethings about career paths. It helped me alot. I learnt I was charismatic. Then was walking to bustop with Mirul, Demas, Sanjay, J.D and Lock. SANJAY DROPPED MY PHONE!!! ON THE ROAD!!! I was freakin pissed. So I just walked off. He called me to apologise. I forgave him after a while. I can't believe it. Haix.. so that was pretty much my day. So that's all I gotta say. BUBYE.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

Post 16 party

2008-03-24T19:30:00.003+08:00

Respect the 16 year old.

Helo everyone. WEEEEEEEEE.. im so happy. Today, i knew was a good day. Bcos yesterday was also a good day. Man U beat Liverpool( or shld I say Loserpool) 3-0. GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!!! HAHA. We watched the match at Bobby's house. Reached home late, damn tired. But had to go school in the morning.

Niways, went to school, and people were like....." Sorry ah 16. " Haha. It was damn funny. Mirul thought I was angry with him cos he forgot my birthday. But I forgave him lah. During the day, I received presents from friends. Then after school, Mirul blanja me BK. Me, Mirul, Zhaf, Fit, Nisa and Aida. Hehe. WEEEEE!!!! Then we walk around TM and CS, and they surprised me with a BIG teddy bear and a book. HAHA. SO SWEET!

I love my friends man. I didn't expect them to do this much. Thank you guys SOOOOO MUCH! And all I wanted was for him to wish me. He forgot to wish me on my bdae. But the next day, he suddenly said" Happy Birthday". That made my day. I cried at night bcos he didnt wish me. But he did in the end. Thank the Lord.

Well, thanks for everything guys. You rock. Tts all I gotta say. Bubye.

Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=

It is sweet indeed.

2008-03-22T10:55:00.003+08:00

Today I am finally Sweet 16.

Yesterday was Good Friday. It's not just any old holiday. It's the day Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man. And for that I am forever grateful. No other King could have so humbly come.

Lead me to the cross. Where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees. Lord I lay me down.

Anyway, today is my birthday. I AM SWEET 16!!!! WOOHOOO!!! I am so excited. 16 is a big thing. I received SMSes and calls from family and friends all thru the night. Damn happy! PEOPLE REMEMBERED! Haha. That itself is a blessing. I can't wait for my presents. Hehe. I dreamt that I got a PSP. HAha. dream on ah!!

Well..tts about it. I am in such a good mood. I have nothing else to say. Happy Birthday to me! HAha.. ego ah. Alrite then, ciao ppl. Tc... Sweet 16 Debbie signing off.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.

= DeBbIe=

En Route Metamorphosis

2008-03-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

Helo. Im on the way to metamorphosis. 2 more days to my birthday. I can't wait. What i wanna do is cut my hair!!!! I really want to. But things are a bit difficult now, all i can do is trust God. Simple faith. That's all. Nothing's impossible for God.

Niways, tomorrow is Good Friday. So...holiday! YEAH! But got plans ready. Other than that, today I didnt go to skl. So extra long weekend. Was havin pain all over!! seriously. But I practiced my Maths in the morning to make up. So made use of my time. One day, and already I miss my frenz. Haha. Oh ya, in the bus yesterday, Zhaf and I were going back. And I thought of the perfect present for him. I'm so excited now! For him! Haha.. May 23rd will come soon.

Alrite, so in other news, nothing much has been happening. Same stuff everyday. So I got nothing much to say. Ok, so gonna go now. Bubye. Tc peeps.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

Time to step it up.

2008-03-14T12:35:00.002+08:00

Hey people. WOW. STEP UP 2 IS AWESOME!!! WOOOOOOHHOOOOOO!!!

I wanna watch it again. Ok, last night we went to watch Step Up 2. Myself, Morin, Joanna, Josephine, Deeps and Luke. We expected a bigger turnout, but their loss. Anyway, we dancers, were pumped up after the movie. We were dancing in the toilet, on the streets, at the pool place. Haha. It was damn funny. But seriously, those who haven't watched it, go watch. All those dancers out there, die die must watch.

Kk, WOW. I can't stop talkin about it. Hmm, feel like starting a dance competition now. So excited! Haha. Get our groove on. Haha. Anyway, this week is holidays. But first 3 days i has extra Bio class. Then we went to Science Centre for cloning talk. I strongly oppose cloning humans. It's just against the will of God. People trying to play God, it's impossible. Don't go against the laws of nature. Just don't. Then we won't be unique anymore.

Now all my Sec 4 UG frenz are in Malaysia, enjoying their camp. Of course they're enjoying. It's Malaysia, truly Asia. No holidays for them. Alrite, well that's it. Oh ya, by the way, ONE MORE WEEK + 1 DAY TO MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I"M GONNA BE 16. SWEET 16. Oh PRAISE THE LORD. HALLELUJAH!!! For those of you who can't count, it's March 22nd. Ok tts it. Thanks ppl. Ciao..

Say you belong to me. My Snow White Queen.
=DeBbIe=

Can you keep a secret?

2008-02-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

Stop and stare.

Hey people. Judging by the title, you may be expecting a secret. But if I tell you, then it won't really be a secret, now wld it. But it's the title of the book im reading. Fascinating( according to Ghaz). Anyway, now im watchin Idol. This rocker girl sucked. Bleeeahh. But i noe how it feels to sing on stage. Jiwe.

Niways, we had IPP today. Had to tape up the whole class with trash bags. In Place Protection ape. Haha, so fun. Climb on tables. I helped Arran and Nury. We took about 15 mins to do the whole class. Then, Ms Suhaila said time to take it down. I ran to the back AND RIPPED IT ALL OUT. AHAAHAHAHAHAHA. Damn fun. WEEEEEE. HAha.

Okie, Fit i just wanna say sorry. Saya nak mintak maaf untul perbuatan buruk saya. Saya tidak mengingati perasaan awak dan saya berasa sangat sedih.Maafkan saya Fit. Awak kawan baik sangat. Awak kawan yang sangat gerek dan sangat berterima kasih kepada Tuhan kerana memberi saya kawan macam awak. Let's not play anymore pranks k. Deeply sorry.

Alright that's all for today. Will update when free. I need to study for DT. Ciao people. Gdnite.

Say you belong to me. My Snow White Queen.
=DeBbIe=

How to save a life

2008-02-22T18:40:00.005+08:00

Hey people. Stop and stare.

Haha. New song. New craze. Anyway, today we had Cross Country ( I always wondered why they call it that, when we don't actually cross the country. Weird people. They should name it Cross Bedok Reservoir Park. Wateva.) Soooo, I was the DJ. Woohoo!! GEREK GILER! Everyone came to us and dedicating song. So cool. Haha. Then scream like hell for Cougar house( GO MIRUL!!!!). Then, we had to pick up the litter and we helped Mr Peh load the van.

Ok, then we headed off to KFC. I didn't have money so I didn't eat. Then we decided to go Pasir Ris Park. We sat at the waterbreaker. We looked at the sea and we were reminded of Senthil and Punithan( R.I.P). It was so sad. Me and Nisa made sure no one went near the water. We didn't wanna lose more frenz. Anyway, here is a photo.

Nice rite. Haha. My Pasir Ris.

Then we play at the playground, damn fun. Talk nonsense. Then go downtown. Then balik kampung. It was a fun day. Now I gotta study. Too much freeeeeedom. Seriously. And yes, I am serious. DUH. Alrite, that's all for today. Gotta ciao. Bye people. :)

Say you belong to me. My Snow White Queen.

=DeBbIe=

Sweet 16's.

2008-01-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

Helo one and all. Long time tak update. Anyway, Happy Birthday Mirul!!! Today is Amirul's bdae and we sabo him after skl. We showered with flour. He never looked whiter. Haha. Yesterday, we went to Pizza Hut to treat him and Aqilah also. Me, Fit,Nury, Nisa, Aida, Zhaf, Yati, Jian Da and...... Tasha. Haha. She's nice. Anyway, we went there for lunch. We really surprised Amirul and Aqilah. Then we give them extra treat of Brownie. Sedap....

Then there was this prob with some gal who lost her handphone. Long story... haha. Niways, we on the way back, then Zhaf and J.D. blanja icecream. Then they all sabo Mirul and Aqilah.. they smudged ALL over their face.. it was hilarious. Haha. Then Fit extra, go rub on my face and Nisa's face. Haha.. We all look like idiots. Anyway, we had fun. I wonder what they will do on my bdae?? haha.. who noes. hehe.

kk.. tts abt it. Nothin else to say. Now got Adam Khoo workshop. Damn fun. Haha. Kk tts it. Ciao.. ppls.. Bubye.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

Piece of me

2008-01-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

BOOOO!!!!!!! Helo. New Year. New things.. Im so excited. I'm looking forward to so many new phases and stuff. I'm ready to make a diff.

Im takin my O's this year. ooooooooo...scary! I dunnoe wat to expect. Seriously. By God's grace I will do well. My Malay class so scary, cos got sec 5 ppl. Stress. They are so.... DIFFERENT. Help me. Well, I'm so glad to see my frenz again. I miss them soooo much. Zhaf and I have drifted apart. I can just sense it... things are just not the same. I dunnoe.. Then recently, my phone LCD screen cracked, so Amirul's and my face are split. Next day, me and him fought over his GF. Like ..seriously.. bad luck. DAMN!!! I hate fighting with him. He's my bestie and I love him loads.. but haix. DAMN. DAMN DAMN.

So, my knee pain came back this year. I need to go see a doc! Desperate! Oh ya, we went for Sec 1 camp to become their so-called buddies. But its combined Councillors and CCA Leaders, called PSL. PEER SUPPORT LEADERS! Haha. It rocked.. it was so fun. Nice to have adik-beradik. Haha.. Tsk tsk.. so sad need to go back. So nice instructors Fira and Daniel. Got one cute one, Adam. Haha. Long story. But Nury made me so freaking jealous. haha. And to Kishen, NOTHING! Haha. Okie..Cheers people.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

Behold, A new thing!

2007-12-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Say you belong to me.

Hey people. So good to be home. I just returned home today from Batam. I went there for a youth camp with my church. I was soooooo excited. My room had a jacuzzi and almost every simple pleasure of life. The bonding was awesome... and I had so much fun. The games were great except maybe for the DEADLY chilli padi. Haha. I was the group leader for Team D. No, not Team Debbie.. but Team Deoxyribonucleicacid. Haha. The other teams were the Appetizers, Boredom.com, Cross X and Elephunk. Everyone did great.

I was having so much fun, I didnt wanna leave. Now im so sad cos I wanna go back. It was just an awesome time. I couldnt have asked for more. Now I'm back and on fire for God. It was truly a blessing.

So, Christmas is coming. My Christmas spirit has been down lately, but Im sure i'll be back to normal soon. I love Christmas. And I know this year is gonna be special. Well, tts it. See ya around.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

I'll be home for Christmas.

2007-11-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

Say you belong to me.

Helloooo one and all. Long time I never post. Just been busy, and abit lazy lah. Anyway, I miss my friends sooooo much. All of them. Haix... But, i still met Zhaf and Wan to go to the pasar malam near our houses. Haha.. at pasir ris lah..then Fit nak ikut. haha.. extra eh..

Then we talk crap..but cotton candy n bla bla bla. Then, on Sunday, i went with ma frenz to sentosa for the nEbO beach thingy to watch the rugby matches. Then found out tt Mirul n gang went to play floorball there. Then i met Mirul.. i was soooo happy. Miss him so much. But for short while only. Haha.

Anyway, Christmas is coming. And i'm so excited. So many things to do. Weeeee... I cant wait. It's gonna be so fun. I'm already in the Christmas mood. Jingle bells.... haha. So here are some pics. Just tot I'd post them.

Deepak, Candice and me at the Bdae party.

So you take a picture of something you see.

This is my whole family. The happy 7.

okie. tts all for now. see ya guys soon. muacks! xmas is near.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.

=DeBbIe=

I dont love you.

2007-11-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

Say you belong to me.

I had to do a hard thing today. I had to let go of someone. But it had to be done. Letting go is so damn hard, but it has to be done. Everyone has to let go of sumone. All i can say is, I don't love you like I did yesterday.

It pulls you apart. Your heart, your soul. Loving someone is so easy. Letting go of someone is the worst part. But with God's help and the help of yr frenz, impossible is nothing. It will take me a while to completely recover.. but I noe it can be done. Pls gimme time. It ain't easy.

In other news, I cant believe someone is actually jealous of me being close to my brother. What the hell. All i can say is, take yr attitude and SHOVE IT. These kind of ppl piss me off. Ever heard of the word " LIFE". GO GET ONE. Pls lah..dont give stupid excuses and blame other ppl when you noe tts it yr fault for makin a bad decision.

Tts all i gotta say. gotta go get my rugby boots now. ciao ppl. enjoy the day.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

Life goes on

2007-10-29T13:34:00.000+08:00

Say you belong to me.

Hey guys. School's over. How sad. I miss my frenz dearly. The only reason why I wake up in the mornin and force myself to go to skl ..is cause of my frenz. Now i wake up at 12noon. How sad is that, but yet so sweet. SLEEP ROCKS! HAHA. I enjoyed my Hari Raya visiting.. it was damn fun. I reached home so late cause we went to Amirul's house. But it was so worth it. The fun we had. But it wasnt fun for everyone..

Anyway, now that skl is over, I guess life has to go on. Some birthdays around the corner. Plus Xmas. Cant wait. Then it'll be O'Levels. DDDIIIIEE! OH ya, forgot to mention. I painted my nails black. WOOhoo.. not goth. Its just a colour ppl. And i love black. So deal with it. Nothing much i gotta say.

I miss u guys alot. I miss Zhafri's eyes. I miss Amirul's way of talking. I miss Nisa's walk. I miss Nury's irritation. I miss Fitri's smile. I miss Arif's hair. I miss Aida's cheeks. I miss Arran's punches. I miss Marlon's jokes. I miss Ghazali's muscles. I miss Syafiq's sarcasm. Alot of things i miss. Hmm.. life goes on. Tts all.. bubye.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.

=DeBbIe=

A day in the life of an Airportian.

2007-10-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

Say you belong to me.

Hello..one and all. Today was a WOW day. Many WOW things happened. Started off in the morning, in the bus. Saw a cute face. My adik,Zhaf. WOW. He put a smile on my face with his cute face. WOW. We went to the Airport for a maths trail.WOW. Didnt noe you could learn maths at the airport. WOW. We went around the place, checking currecy rates, measuring heights, ANGLE OF ELEVATION. WOW. We went up and down the damn escalators. WOW. It was actually damn boring. WOW. But the fun part was with the Spartans. HEHE.. A5. And also hanging out with Arran, Marlon and Dom. They are sooooo fun. Haha.. Took alot of photos. WOW.

Airport was the same lah. Made a nuisance. Showed the public that we cant behave. WOW. Worst thing was, Superman took the same bus as me. WOW. Of all the bloody buses. WOW. Fate takes a new meaning. Anyway, Ghazali went to kacau him. WOW. So expected of Ghaz.
Then went back to school. Amirul and Fit waited for us.

I was having fun. We talked shit below the block. WOW. Amirul damn funny lah. Laugh about me summore. WOW. Haha. Guess thats why he's my best fren. WOW. Then take bus home with adik. He so cute lah. WOW. Make me laugh again and bang the bus window. hehe. WOW.

Tts abt it for my WOW day. Guess you can see why its so WOW. Thats the day in the life of an Airportian. Ciao ppl. Post another time. Love u Mirul. Love u Zhaf. Love you Fit.Bubye peepz.

Say you belong to me. My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=

Blind me to see

2007-10-21T21:59:00.001+08:00

Say you belong to me.

Hey people. Bored..so thought id write a post. Just wanted to thank Zhaf, my dear fren. He truly cared when I couldnt care for myself. He gave me hope when all hope was lost. He made me smile when all i could do was cry. This is for you. For all the tears you wiped.

Zorro
Handsome
Amazing
Friendly
Really sweet
In my heart always

And also my dear friend Fitri. He is special in many ways. But he loves to worry alot. Listen to me Fit.. dont worry. I'll always be here for you. No matter what happens. And my bestest fren... AMIRUL!! thanks for all the smsing. you cheered me up. thanks. i feel better now. Jgn takut eh.. hehe. between us. mr hensem.

ok..tts all i gotta say. im still recovering. friends make it better. yeah.. ciao ppl. tc..

Say you belong to me.My snow white queen.
=DeBbIe=